My Reincarnated Life Is Wrong, Source: Me

Episode 13

~Even The Swimsuit Episode Was Still Wrong~

'ALL RIGHT LISTEN UP! Today you WILL be live firing the M3 Carl Gustaf 8.4 cm recoilless rifle! Do YOU feel its motherfucking POWER Private?!'

"I feel it's motherfucking POWER Drill Sergeant!"

'Fuckin-A! Load-em up, Private Weber!'

'Yes, Drill Sergeant!'

I steady the M3 on my shoulder using the foregrip as I sight a wreck of an old APC down range through the scope, as my best friend Webb loads an 8.4 cm HEAT round.

There's an audible click as the breech-mounted Venturi recoil damper locks into place.

'Ready.'

"Ready to fire."

'Back-blast area clear.'

"Firing, firing, firing."

I pressed the trigger, the Earth shook, and that day at Fort Benning Georgia my life changed forever...

('Ave~ Maria~! Jungfrau~ mild~,')

*Ka-vroomthf!*

('Erhöre~ deiner~ Kinder~ Flehen~, im~ Tal-der~ Tränen~ sei-uns~ Schild~')

*BOOM!*

('lass~ mein~ Gebet-zu-dir~ hinwehen~.')

***"This is Morgan Freeman here, and at this time I would like to point out to the readers that the flashback, that young man is currently experiencing after cruelly being knocked out by that, ahem, yes, by that 'young woman' he calls his fiancé, is now happening in slow-motion as a song that the author of this, quite frankly, poorly written romantic comedy, certainly doesn't have the rights to, plays out. I would also like to take the time to point out, that in fact, I have yet to be paid... Although, I do have to admit this version of Ave Maria is quite good..., I remember the time when I first played Hitman: Blood Money, It was at a time that seems, oh so long ago, things were so much simpler back then, and I was certainly paid on time as well..., yes, it was a time of my life, that was also, quite good..." NOOoooo! What do you mean the check bounced?! Why the hell won't someone just take him already kyon?!***

('Wir~ schlafen~ sicher-bis-zum~ Morgen~, dein~ Sternenmantel~ deckt-uns-zu~.')

I felt like I just experienced something truly transcended and I could've sworn that the most beautiful melody was ringing in my ears.

('O~? Jungfrau~, siehe~ unsere~ Sorgen~, O~ schenke~ unsern~ Herzen~ Ruh~!')

'Clear, good hit.'

"Fu-fu-fu-fu~..."

'Ack! That look on your face is fuckin gross man...'

"Hachiman~..."

Wait, was that an angel just now?

"Fu-ha-ha-ha~. Hey Webb, you gotta try this fuckin thing~. It's so fuckin awesome~..."

"Hachiman!"

Geh!

My eyes shoot open, and through the shades of my badass sunglasses, I could make out Totsuka's angelic face right above me.