fuck you kaulitz

Mm-mm, I can't let go Girl, you really got my soul

shitty chapterbut i was desperate to post

He was calling again, for the fifteenth time. I rolled my puffy eyes as i disconnected the phone for the third time this week. This guy doesnt know how to take a hint. I got back into my room and screamed.

"TOM WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE" 

This crazy bastard was perched on my window, trying to get it. I had to fight with all my might to not run up to it and push him off. I locked my jaw and sent a murderous gaze his way.

"Fuck off Tom." He hopped into my room, and with the light i now saw his eyes were puffy. Like they should be. cunt.

"Ina i'm sorry." He said in a low voice. I rolled my eyes and slammed past him to open the window once again. Stepping aside, i signaled the now open window.

"OUT" I saw agitation spawn behind his eyes as he quickly reached into his jacket and took out a bouquet of bluebells. The delicate blue petals shook as he held them out. I froze, observing the new variable in this whole fiasco. My eyes flicked between the beautiful conundrum of flowers and the wretched thing that was holding them.

I approached him slowly, admiring them. They were gorgeous, a vibrant blue color, soft, and they almost looked velvety. I felt my eyes fog up as i stared up at him. He smirked a little:

"Do you like them?" he asked, getting closer. I felt my small smile falter. This felt empty. His confident appearance, his calculated smile, his ingenuine tone. I gripped the flowers and stepped back wordlessly. His eyebrows twitched into a slight frown as i neared the window.

"Out." I then followed by throwing the flowers out. The crunch as they hit the floor sent shudders up my spine and a satisfaction bloomed in me.

His mouth opened in disbelief. That's what you get you absolute bitch. He stared down at me from across my room, trying to decipher what went wrong. Fuck him. After a while he slowly crawled out by the window without a word. 

The next few days past in a blurr, i went to sleep drunk or high and woke up from nightmares where every time i would leave Will, it would go right back to the first time he beat me. I would wake up drenched in cold sweat and i wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. 

A knock cleared my head of all the dire situations i had been put in during today's nightmare. I should start journaling. I mused over that idea as i went to answer the door. It was Bill.

"Bill!" I exclaimed as i lunged at him. He chuckled as he wrapped me in his arms. I suddenly realised how much i missed hugs from a very similar Cartier-smelling man. More like child.

"So is Tom here?" He asked after a while of giggling and catching up. We were on my kitchen counter and my feet, once swinging, froze. I whipped my gaze up to meet his:

"Why would he be here? " I asked suspiciously. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Didn't he come with flowers?" I scoffed and shook my head.

"Like if that was gonna change anything" Bill slowly swallowed his iced latte and absent-mindedly muttered : "That always works tho" I must've gasped LOUDLY because he quickly looked up and slapped his hand over his mouth.

So that's why it felt so practiced. BECAUSE IT WAS.

"So he just goes around offering flowers to girls he screws over?" I felt indignant. He just stood there, shocked at his slip-up. Well okay then. I felt hot rage flow through my body. I grabbed my plate and propelled it through one of the windows. The shattering didn't help the boiling fury that slithered under my skin. I felt tears pool down my cheeks and bill's arms coming around me.

He ended up leaving a few hours past 1AM saying that he needed to find his dick of a brother. If i didn't know any better i would think he's in a random alley, coaxing a girl to suck his dick as a pity blowjob. 

I have to get out of bed. I have to go to work. I have a thousand missed calls and i NEED TO KEEP THIS JOB. With a glance at my phone i could tell that i had a pretty big gig on the 21st... WHIHC IS TODAY. I practically teleported into my clothes with minimal makeup and was out of the door in 10.

Tom:

I was just at thing fancy dinner thing, i don't even know why I'm here. Gustav Georg and Bill are better at the whole socializing thing. Rolling my eyes at the business men, i focused my eyes on the rest of the place. It was pretty big, and luxurious. The chairs and furniture was velvet draped and the cutlery was authentic silver and intertwined gold. Cool.

I must've overreacted with the whole Marina thing. It was never that deep. She was just some chick that was all over me and i just let it get to my head. I let out a breath and smirked at a group of girls. See? They all want me. as i was letting my fantasies parade around in my head, music started playing. I didn't get to identify what it was because the second i looked at the stage i was blinded by realisation. 

Her hair was swaying, i could see that it wasn't in the same way her stylists did it, it looked better. Its soft waves and faint curls rolled down her back like the millions drops of water in a waterfall. Her eyes were bare of makeup and the fluttering of her eyelashes sent flittering butterflies to my stomach. They arched perfectly and framed her beautiful dark eyes that ran over the audience hungrily and with passion. They looked like magnets, drawing me in and then trapping me. Her nose was sculpted dotingly and led my gaze to her thick lips. They moved as they formed word after word, yet i couldn't hear anything. Those mesmerizing lips that were slightly pink and puckered after being ravished. That neck that i had run my fingertips over, countless of times.

Slowly, very slowly, like if cautiously, the realisation spawned infront of me. I was inlove with her. The very thought of her brought joy into the worst of my days, i would starve myself only for my eyes to feast on the sight of her. My heart warmed and propelled me to warm her and cherish her with the best of my abilities, I would go days without water if only i could drink in the attention she gives me. I love Marina.

As soon as the happiness bloomed in my chest, a gut wrenching fear took over.

What have i done.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE INDEED YOU ACTUAL FUCKTART

anyways guys my exams are finally over AND THE STORY IS SOOIN COMING TO AN END UBUEBEUCBECBECC because im starting to lose motivationnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

ill maybe go back and edit some shit but YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i think ill write 3-4 more chapters because DHCBEUCBEHBEGKCEF

also i have like 3 parties this weekend becaus its the END OF THE SCHOLL YEAR LESGOOOOOO wish me luck