Back to the start line - Minsung

6.3 The sixth, the last

The only heaven I'll be sent to
is when I'm alone with you
I was born sick,
but I love it,
command me to be well

~~~

Minho doesn't remember ever being this worried. Well, saying he's worried sick right now is understandable.

Jisung is an adult and he can look after himself, so it's not that. Jisung is free to go and meet whoever; Minho can't prohibit him from that. Therefore, Jisung said he was going to meet someone and Minho let him go. Of course. He didn't think much of it at first.

However, what does Minho think of it now? He's fucking pacing to and fro in the livingroom, worrying his bottom lip, drawing blood, and listening to his heart that's going crazy.

He is not okay. Jisung is not okay.

He should have come back already. Where the fuck did he even go in the first place?

And who is this 'someone'?

Something is wrong. Something is wrong.

It's not that Minho doesn't trust Jisung. He trusts the younger boy with his whole heart, his whole body, his whole soul. However, he doesn't trust any other person who is in Jisung's presence.

Minho should have worried earlier. But then again: What diference would it have made?

Minho has seen the rather... low episode of the younger boy these past few weeks. At first it got him worried and he did everything he could think of to help. Jisung seemed to appreciate it but didn't seem feel be any better.

Minho could see how tired Jisung has been and no matter how much Minho regrets it he admits that he got tired as well. Constantly being there for a depressed person who might relapse at any given moment is so hard, draining. Minho has been scared to let Jisung out of his sight for even a second, afraid of what he might be capable of doing to himself.

Call Minho delusional, but sometimes his fears and worries have been timely and useful.

He knows Jisung better than his own hands. Or he should. Therefore, he feels like a failure. He feels like he has failed Jisung, the love of his life.

He no longer cringes as he calls Jisung that.

Nevertheless, as he's now going through every possible scenario in his mind about what has happened or what is happening, he catches himself panicking.

He's usually good at remaining calm and cool, not seeing any reason in hysterical panicking. Although, right now he's slowly but surely losing control if he doesn't focus and be realistic.

He can't help but feel absolutely horrible. Jisung must have gotten tired of him as well, just left and didn't even say goodbye. Minho didn't either, just hummed and kept watching those cat videos of his.

Minho knows their terms have been... rather tensed up the past few days but it doesn't excuse Minho for being such an asshole. He should have worried. He should have asked. He should have done anything but just mind his business and let Jisung go.

It's conflicting and Minho hates it. And now Jisung is gone and have been for... four hours and twenty three minutes. Its a lot; Jisung usually runs out of his social energy battery after two hours. In addition, it's crazy late outside and Jisung isn't a fan of either darkness or coldness.

What if Jisung got mobbed? What if he got hurt? Injured? What if he got kidnapped or is now lying somewhere out there, alone and freezing to death? What if-