Back to the start line - Minsung

3.3 Number three is always fortunate

It has been a few days since Jisung returned back to the normal world. The boy has been on his own mostly, avoiding any type of human contact, as well as possible. The only people he has been talking to have been his coworker Jeongin, his mom and Josh, but only because he has been kind of forced to.

It would be stupid to just keep his mouth shut all the time, when being asked something or so.

The boy has been avoiding Minho as well. In school, it's critical. He's afraid the older boy will spot him, want to talk to him and not let him leave until Jisung explains himself. Jisung is not ready yet. He is not ready to face Minho and explain.

He doesn't even know what to say.

I realized I'm gay and in love with you. I know, it's stupid and was never supposed to happen. I'll fix it, I promise, just give me time. I'm sorry. I'm such a coward.

Well, that'll do. Better be honest, right? Without any sugarcoating.

He should fucking man up.

But seeing Minho now in the schools library, sitting alone and studying, has Jisung's poor heart hurting. Once again.

There is this magical, magnetic force pulling him towards Minho. However, he holds himself back and forces himself to think first.

He doesn't know for how long he'll be able to keep up with this hide and seek. It's kind of stupid as well, to avoid someone like this. Ignore Minho's poor attempts at trying to confront him, Jisung turning his back to the older.

It would hurt anyway; Whether or not Minho has been trying to reach him. If Minho didn't have, it would break Jisung's heart with disappointment. If Minho had, which indeed is the truth, it would hurt still. And it does.

It's painful to watch the nth incoming phone call on the screen of his phone, the device ringing without any sound.

Jisung is not able to pick up.

He doesn't know what is wrong with him, nonetheless, he feels awful. He's an awful friend, for sure.

So, the young boy turns around and heads out of the library with a heavy heart and a heavy mind.

~~~

It hurts so fast
when love goes bad,
until at last
we fade to black.

We're living in a memory,
the present is the price I pay.

~~~

Jisung is currently chilling in his room. The boy is writing whatever comes to his mind, down on the notebook in his hands. It's one of the most precious tresures he has and he protects it with his life.

It's filled with mindless doodles, quotes, poems, lyrics; Whatever has come to his mind, basically. It's kind of a coping way for him, a way to express himself. When opening his mouth feels agonizingly difficult, he isolates himself in his room, with this notebook.

He often catches himself roaming in his own little naive world, dangerously deep in it. Time, other people, the reality don't exist in his world. Just him.

It's his own imaginary world.

When he was a kid, he used have imaginary friends as well. Their names are forgotten unfortunately, but he remembers how he used to hang out with them and talk to them about everything.

Minho kind of appeared out of nowhere and took him under his wings, as a brother. Those imaginary friends stayed in the background, Minho replacing them as the very first real friend Jisung ever had.