The List

Chapter 24

"Shall I walk you home?" I offered and Regina nodded. I didn't know if she'd wanted to do something else, but I didn't think this date was going to be a success at this point. It'd failed, spectacularly, and we both knew it.

The walk to Regina's trailer seemed long, especially because we'd given up trying to start a conversation. It was quiet the whole time, but not the comfortable silence we used to have.

When we arrived at her temporary home, we stopped walking. Regina looked at me and smiled, but in the dark, I couldn't tell whether it was real or fake.

"Do you want to come inside?"

No. I wanted to go home and slap myself for being so stupid. I had one chance of going on a first date with Regina and I'd ruined it. I didn't even know why it'd gone so bad. We both liked each other, we'd had tons of intimate conversations, we'd touched and kissed before, but this had been a disaster.

I was quiet for a moment, because I didn't want to reject this offer, but I also didn't want to continue this awkwardness and my hopes of improving this situation had faded.

"It's pretty late, I should probably go home," I said. It was a bad excuse, but Regina didn't seem to mind.

"Of course," she said and opened the door to her trailer.

"But I'll see you Wednesday?"

"Wednesday?"

"Yes, around lunch. Remember? Or are we going to cance.."

"Oh, no, of course. Wednesday. I'll see you then," Regina replied and leaned against her home. "Will you be okay walking home alone?"

"Of course, yes. It'll be fine. Thanks.. for tonight." I ran my hand through my hair.

"Yes. You too. Sleep well, Emma."

"Thanks. You as well."

I turned around and when I heard the door close, I started hurrying. I wanted to forget this evening and somehow take away my embarrassment. This date hadn't gone well. I had to make sure I'd make something of it Wednesday, because I still really liked her and I wasn't going to give up on her.

~~~~~

Regina's P.O.V.

I very much felt the urge to cancel this date. The embarrassment of two nights back hadn't left my mind yet and I was glad I'd been able to fully focus on my character and my job yesterday, but as soon as I'd gotten back to my trailer, I'd felt ashamed.

Emma had very much tried to make the best of this date and I'd ruined it completely. She'd been so kind and she'd done everything right, but I'd completely dismissed it. I had to make it up to her, that was the only reason I was going. I wasn't yet ready to confront her, though.

"It'll be alright, Regina," Ruby said. She was walking alongside me. Emma hadn't picked me up this time. She'd asked Ruby to, because she still needed to prepare some things, but truthfully, it felt like she was postponing meeting me as well as she could. I couldn't blame her. It'd surprised me she'd even wanted to go on this date.

"God, Ruby, you don't know how much it sucked Monday," I said and it was embarrassing to hear the whiny tone in my voice.

"Well, at least you both agree on that," Ruby quipped with a broad smile. I stopped walking. I had no idea where she was leading me to, anyway, and I had no desire to continue anymore.

"I knew it was a bad date and I ruined it, but I don't want to have it confirmed," I replied and pouted. "She must think I'm horrible."

Ruby let out an exaggerated sigh and pulled me further down the road. She was taking me down Main Street and I'd gotten to know Storybrooke quite well during the past six months, but I still had no idea where she was taking me.

"Maybe wait until you see her," Ruby said and when we arrived at the closed library, she stopped moving. She glanced around the street, waited until a woman was out of sight and then opened the door. She pushed me inside the building and locked the door after she'd gotten inside herself as well.

I felt goosebumps erupt in my neck. Emma wasn't here, which could mean either she was waiting downstairs in that terrifying cave or she was arriving later.

"This is a great place to kill someone," I said and grabbed Ruby's hand. I knew Emma had planned something sweet, but this place gave me the creeps. At least it wasn't a restaurant where half the customers recognized my face. I had to give Emma that.

Ruby led me to the elevator and with our fingers tightly intertwined, we lowered into the ground. I felt like I'd never be able to let go of her, even when we touched the ground. She released me, though, and I breathed deeply.

We walked through the dark tunnel and Emma was still nowhere to be seen. I felt my heart pound louder and tried to think back of the last time I was here with Emma. That calmed my mind the slightest bit and I realized I really wanted to see Emma.

Being in this scary tunnel almost made me forget my embarrassment. I was far too afraid to worry about Emma's opinion on me right now.

I saw lights at the end of the tunnel and I didn't hear Ruby's footsteps anymore. "Just follow the light. I'm going to leave. Emma is over there, waiting for you," Ruby said and then she hurried away. I was too baffled to say anything, but I wasn't scared now that I knew Emma was here too.

"Emma?" I called out and carefully walked towards the light. I realized very late that it were candles flickering in the dark, around tons of pillows and blankets. They looked very soft. The whole scenery was beautiful, the dark cave enlit by the many candles and the cold rocks contrasted with the soft pillows. Emma was standing beside it all.

I hurried towards her and embraced her tightly. Her body was warm and she smelled like cinnamon. It'd started to become one of my favorite scents in the world. I wasn't going to let this date suck. This was going to be amazing, I could feel it. "This is gorgeous, Emma," I said and looked at the candles.

"Well, it's an attempt to apologize for last Monday. I'm sorry I was so awkward. I'd really hoped it would all go well, but I.."

"What?"

Emma cocked her head.

"You are apologizing? That's ridiculous, Emma. I totally screwed up and I feel like I should explain," I said. My arms were still around her neck. She wanted to say something, but I was first. "People don't know I'm queer yet and I'm not ready for everyone to know. This is the first time I've been on a date with someone where I actually thought it could lead somewhere and the thought of everyone following that like it's their own life bugs me. That's why I responded so rudely to your touch. It's not that I don't want to hold your hand, I just want to hold your hand for a very long time and I feel like the meddling of press and fans might jeopardize that dream."

Emma slowly bobbed her head. "I get that. I figured it was something like that. That's why I arranged a date here," she kicked off her heels, "without any people present, but still a special location."

I didn't feel afraid at all, anymore. The fact that there was a huge precipice just thirty feet away bothered me no longer. I was here with Emma, whom I trusted a lot.

"Not to burst your bubble, though, but I do think many people know you're queer," Emma said and she stepped over the candles, onto the pillows. She was wearing a tight, pink dress and she'd styled her hair into curls. She looked very attractive.

"People think I am, but I've never confirmed it," I said and followed her example. "I just don't want my love life to be anyone's business."

"Me neither," Emma said and lay down. "I've deleted all my social media, because people had found my accounts. I really dislike the attention, I'd hate it if people came to my table asking for photos, it's really not my thing. I don't understand how you do it."

I lay down next to her and I wondered how many pillows and blankets she'd put on the ground for me not to feel the hard stone at all.

It was nice to have yet another confirmation that she wasn't with me for my fame, but if she hated it as much as she said she did, I wondered if this could ever go somewhere serious. One day, I'd have to publicize my relationship, otherwise it wouldn't work and that would definitely get my partner some attention.

If Emma didn't like that, Emma couldn't become my partner. And if there was no possibility Emma would become my partner, I was wasting my time.