The List

Chapter 20

"You need me, Emma, and you know it. You need to have me in your life, otherwise your life is worth nothing. You made the mistake of letting me go once, you certainly don't want to do it twice? Don't you remember how upset you were after we broke up?"

I had been upset. I was still upset from time to time, even though there were also a lot of good times, now that Killian had dumped me.

His fingers touched my cheek, gently. My mind had become a blur. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, anymore. It was as though I wasn't really present, like my voice didn't even matter at all, because my body would do what it thought it needed to do.

"Do you want me to kiss you, Emma? Do you need my soft lips against yours and show you I still love you?"

I didn't respond, because I didn't know what to say. I couldn't think clearly anymore, because this was not how I'd imagined our conversation would go.

"Uh," I muttered and my eyes were glossy. I wanted him to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay.

"Everything is going to be fine, Emma. We're just going to go back the way it was." He cupped my cheeks and closed his eyes. He leaned it to kiss me, his lips slightly puckered.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my ankle. "Ouch," I said and stumbled away from Killian. It was as though I needed to feel something hurt my body to clear up my mind, because I was back in this world. Regina was here. I'd forgotten about that, but she was listening to every stupid thing I'd say and pinching me for it in my ankle.

"I don't want to go back the way it was," I said, with a quaver in my voice. "I want you to go now and I don't want to see you again. I don't even know how you found me here or why you thought it'd be a good idea to talk to me now, but I don't need you."

"Emma, baby.."

I hated that nickname. He'd never used it before, too. It was as though he was a different person. Clearly, he hadn't changed physically during the breakup, but he had mentally. That satisfied me somewhat.

"Go away. Now."

"Emma.."

"I mean it."

"Em.."

I pushed him away. "Now. It's not happening, Killian."

"I'll take you right here on this counter and.."

"Why on earth would I want that?!" I snapped. I grabbed his shirt and pulled him with me towards Granny's exit. I opened the door, and pushed him out.

"Hm, kinky," he said with a smirk, before I slammed the door shut and locked it. I wiped my hands and turned around, hoping that Killian would walk away. I didn't dare look at the window though, afraid that he would still be standing here.

"Emma?" Regina's voice sounded timid. I walked to the back of the counter and saw her sitting on the floor. It was probably a good thing she'd hid, because the fight that would've erupted between her and Killian was something I wouldn't have been ready for. I joined her on the ground. "You okay?"

She put her hand on my knee and squeezed softly. I shrugged. "I think so. It's.. odd. He's changed a lot. It feels like he's gone insane. He's an entirely different person, which is weird, because I love him, but it feels like it isn't him, anymore."

"I think he has a harder time losing you than he's actually letting on," Regina replied. "And I can't blame him for that. He's lost the goldmine."

I blushed, but I hoped she didn't see it. She smiled, so I was almost certain she had seen, but she didn't comment on it. Instead, she scooted closer to me.