The List

Chapter 24

The tension lessened, but it didn't go away. We got our food and I wanted to talk about something interesting, but no topic came to mind. Regina seemed to be trying her best to start a good conversation as well, but her attempts failed as much as mine. For the first time since we'd started talking, we actually had nothing to say to one another.

"What do you think of the pay gap between men and women?" I tried. It was a lame question, but I was desperate. I also knew Regina's opinion on this, of course, but maybe it would start an interesting discussion.

"Horrible. I can't believe we're still in a society that treats women like they're less than men," Regina responded. "You?"

"I agree," I said. Thus far, our conversation. A silence fell upon us again and we both took a bite of our food. I hated that it was like this. I absolutely hated it. All because I'd foolishly tried to hold her hand. I should've thought before I acted, but it was too late for that now.

Regina and I had never been awkward with each other before. We'd never fallen silent, but of course now, on our first date, we did. My hands were sweaty and suddenly I felt dumb for ever asking her out. Regina knew how to handle every situation, Regina was good with everyone, but I'd made her nervous and upset. I was really bad at this. I'd had many failed relationships, but now I realized that was mainly my fault.

I sucked at this. I couldn't even keep a conversation going with Regina. She'd completely shut down too, because of me. I needed to say something to make this all better, but I didn't know what. Maybe pointing out that it was horrible would make it even worse.

Right when I'd decided I'd just apologize to Regina, a teen girl walked up to our table. She kept staring at Regina and looked as though she was on the verge of crying.

"Could I take a picture with you?! I loved you in Childlike Laughter! You're so cool!" The girl had an annoying squeaky voice and I flinched, but Regina managed to smile.

"Well, I'm having dinner right now, but.."

"Just the one! Please! I love you so much. It would make my day."

Regina looked at me and I shrugged. I knew I had to back her up, but if I did, maybe people would suspect things and I didn't know whether Regina was okay with that. Clearly, going to a restaurant had been a bad idea.

"Yes, of course," Regina said with a bright smile. She seemed to be enjoying every single second of this. She posed, told the girl they should do different poses and thanked the mother afterwards for taking the photos.

As soon as the annoying talking girl and her mother had left, the palpable tension returned. I now had something to talk about with her, how she managed to always keep her cool, whether she instantly disliked people who disrupted her free moments, but I also knew that with so many people around us that could overhear, Regina didn't want to talk about it.

Regina wiped her lips with a napkin, folded it and looked at me. We both hadn't eaten a lot, but I was not in the mood for this food anymore. It wasn't amazing and because of the failure that was this date, I mainly wanted to go home.

"Let's go somewhere else," Regina said. "Let's get out of this restaurant and do something fun together, because this isn't going well and I don't like wasting my time."

Again, she was talking softly, but I did hear and more importantly, I agreed. We got up and I paid for the food, though Regina insisted she should pay.

"I asked you out," I said. "I'm paying."

We walked outside and I sighed relieved when my warm face met with the cool evening air. I didn't know whether I was supposed to talk about what had happened inside, but I figured it was best to continue trying to ignore it.