Made for me

Chapter 5

"No, the thing is you always say that you don't like being touched when i try to touch you. It just didn't make sense. So I thought maybe there was more to what I saw."

"Huiying, you know, ever since you got here and started talking, everything has been about you. I am not interested in defending my decision to you."

"If he really needs a place to stay, he can always stay at my place and I can stay with you. I know that will make our parents very happy. We are going to get married one day so it can be like practice. "

"Can you hear yourself.  Do you really want to move in with me before marriage and do what exactly? I am a guy, and you are a girl. What do you think people will assume is happening behind closed doors. Come on, Huiying, think before you make silly suggestions."

"Yibo, I am just scared that that guy is going to come between us. I saw the way you....forget it. If you say there is nothing, then there is nothing."

"Do I need to take you home?"

"No, my driver is waiting downstairs."

She leaned in to give me a kiss on the lips, and I turned my head, and she settled for my cheek.

"Goodnight, yibo."

"Goodnight, Ying."

I walked back inside, and I was startled by Zhan standing next to his bedroom door.

"Ah, snap, you scared me."

"If you can deal with the likes of her, nothing should scare you."

"She really is not a bad person, just a little bit possessive and clingy, that's all."

"Scary combination, I should tell her I am gay, just to see how she handles her imagination."

"Please don't do that, she really will move in if she finds out."

"Don't worry about me, I won't take you away from her, I don't like straight guys anyway. Too risky for me. One day the person is into me the next moment I am getting a wedding invitation because they decided they want a "normal" family. I will pass thanks ."

"Is that from experience, Zhan?"

"No, but I am not blind to the experiences of others. Your own hand doesn't always have to teach you that fire burns, those that touched it first can also teach you."

"Makes sense, I guess. Zhan, I meant to ask you, do your parents know that you are gay?"

"Of course they know. I told them as soon as I realized that I was a bit different from the other guys."

"They just accepted just like that?"

"No, not just like that. They needed time to adjust and understand what I meant. I am an only child, so of course, my mother said she is taking time to moan grandkids she will never have."

"Wow, man, your parents are something else. I hope you are thankful for them. My parents would have either disowned me or killed me or both."

"Since we are asking personal questions can I ask one too?"

"Yeah sure go ahead."

"What's the story between you and your fiancé, sorry to say but you seem rather cold towards her?"

"Our parents have been friends since they were in college and after they got married they found out they were pregnant around the same time. I don't know if it's planned or not. They decided if they are having a boy and a girl they would have them marry each other. And now here we are. I really am not sold for the idea, it's exciting for her because she has has a crush on me since forever and I on the other hand have never looked at her in that way. I have not been able to date anyone or get close to other girls because she makes it a point to tell everyone we meet that we are engaged."

"Ah yeah, I also got that information. So are you not going to tell her you don't want to get married to her?"

"Unfortunately it's not up to us to decide. Our parents don't really take no for an answer."

"So are you telling me that they would rather you enter into a loveless marriage and suffer for the rest of your lives?"

"I don't think she will consider it suffering, she is waiting for the day I actually give a passionate kiss and she will probably die from happiness. I on the other hand will suffer daily feeling like I married my own sister."

"So are you telling me that you guys are together but have never even kissed, I heard she said you have never even hugged her?"

"I don't want to have unnecessary physical contact with others, also she is a girl. I want to protect her purity as much as I can."

"Wow man, that's really awesome of you. Are you attracted to her though?Do you feel like if you looked past her being like a sister to you, would you be tempted to do all those things to her?"

"Of course man have you seen her? She is gorgeous, I am not blind Zhan. Surely you see that too."

"Yes, I do see that she is gorgeous but I am not attracted to her on that way.  Anyway I came out to get water. Let me go back to my books."

Something changed again in his mood. Did I say something wrong? We were talking just fine a minute ago and now he just became distant.

Knock knock...

"What?"

"I was just wondering if you need one of those hugs, I don't remember what you called it. You seem off a bit just now?"

"No thanks."

"OK, let me know if you need it. Can I also ask for one when I need it."

"Yibo, just go to your room. You have a lot of work to cover before exams start. For the last time Goodnight."

"OK don't say I didn't offer, goodnight. "