The Stick of Truth

Kawaī purinsesu Kenny-Chan to kawaī mahōtsukai N.K.-Kun no mahō no bōken

I used Google Translate for the chapter title so if someone can speak Japanese it's not my fault if something is wrong. Also, the title means Pretty Princess Kenny-Chan and pretty mage N.K.-Kun magical adventure. Enjoy the new chapter my loves!

"That's disgusting!"

"Don't be a pussy, Douchebag!"

"My name is N.K. when will you learn this fatass?!"

"Hey! I'm your king I command respect from you. Also, I'm not fat I'm big-boned."

"Could have fooled me."

"Will you learn now Dragonshout or be a prissy girl about it!"

I stare at Cartman angrily and he glares right back at me.

As it turns out Dragonshout is a powerful fart.

Hell nah, I'm learning that.

It's like a said disgusting and I don't want to be known as the fart girl.

"I will rather be a prissy girl than be known as the farting guy.", I tell him as such. "You can't force me to learn."

"Fine be a huge bitch! Don't come crying back to me to learn it when you realize you need it!", he shouts back.

I'm in a pickle I feel it. I don't want to learn this shit, but Lord Men Tittys is so sure that I will need Dragonshout, that I'm starting to have doubts.

I ball my hands into fists.

"I'm sorry my king, if you think I need to learn this magic, then I will.", I grit out from behind my teeth.

The asshole gives me a huge winning smirk. I feel so dirty, no lie.

"I'm happy you reconsider, Douchebag.", he says gleefully. "FIRST, you must take the Gentlemen's Oath. You must promise to NEVER, EVER fart on anyone's balls. Okay? Farting on an opponent is necessary, but farting on someone's balls is NOT COOL. Do you understand?"

"Why would I fart on any ones balls? But sure I promise."

"All right, then, let's begin your training."

His Largness faces one of the training dummies, while I cross my arms and wonder in what kind of fucked up parallel universe I ended up.

Farts as weapons.

Urgh.

"To conjure Dragonshout, you must first clear your mind and take in a deep breath... through your butthole. Like so. HRRNNGGHH!! Then... let it rumble inside you... and... DRAGONSHOUT!!"

A fart comes out which lets the training dummy sway. Okay...Cartman can make farts so potent that they are like a huge smelly breeze.

And now I should learn this?

I don't know how this will help me in my quest.

Sadly I can't back down.

I will not give Cartman this satisfaction.

Gritting my teeth I follow his instructions. It's so weird feeling the rumbling in my stomach, till I let out a fart.

I can feel how red from embarrassment my face is.

"Is this okay, my king?", I ask him, praying I don't need to do it again.

"My god that was... incredible. A man could live a hundred years and never again witness a spell so... boisterous.", says Cartman in awe. I raise my eyebrow at him. What the fuck? "Could it be that the prophecies are true? Could it be that the Dragonborn has come at last in our hour of need?"