The Darling Diaries

Torn

I paced back and forth with my guitar slung on, a few minutes away from going onstage. Dylan had been out of prison for three days, and I still hadn't seen him anywhere, which I was grateful for. On the other hand, I just wanted to get it over with.

"You should stop pacing, you know," Robert suggested, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist, avoiding my guitar. "You're going to wear a path in the floor."

"I'm just nervous, is all," I explained.

"Don't be. You'll be fine. You're going to do great, you're going to tear the house down, like you always do, and that bastard isn't going to touch you, should he choose to show up. All right?" He assured.

I turned around, stood up on my toes, and pecked him on the lips. "Thanks, Robbie. I appreciate everything that you've been doing. You've been really great." He smiled down at me.

It was true; Robert had been extraordinary. In the days leading up to Dylan's release, whenever I would have a flashback and start crying or wake up in the middle of the night after a nightmare and start crying, Vanity, Monet, or Eden would go and get Robert. If it was during the daytime, he would make me hot chocolate (my comfort drink) and sit with me until I calmed down. If it was night, he would lay with me until I fell asleep. He was kind of like a security blanket, except more effective. I just felt safe with him.

In the three days since Dylan had gotten out of jail, Robert would go with me everywhere. Even if it was me with Vanity, Monet, and Eden, and we told him that he didn't have to come if he didn't want to, he still came, because he knew that it made me feel better. He watched our shows from the side of the stage (although he informed me that he had been doing this prior to knowing anything about what happened), and when I asked him to sleep in my room (on the couch), he didn't even complain. He was so sweet it almost hurt.

Of course, I was probably just being paranoid. He didn't complain about that either. I thought I saw Dylan around every corner. There were plenty of times when I had made his arm bleed with how hard I was digging my fingernails into it. He didn't complain. Even when I punched him in the face for sneaking up behind me and kissing me on the cheek (yes, I thought he was Dylan), he didn't even blame me. Of course, I felt horrible about it afterwards (I left a nasty cut on his cheek from one of my rings), so I made him apology cake afterwards. Jimmy, Jonesy, and Bonzo ate most of it, but I had anticipated that, so I took him out for ice cream after he went to the kitchen for another piece, found the plate empty, and found them eating it in the pantry. Their excuse? Munchies.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw a stage tech. "Show time." He walked away.

I turned back around and looked at Robert nervously. He kissed my forehead, my nose, then my lips. "You're gonna be brilliant."

I nodded and followed Eden, Monet, and Vanity out on stage to raucous applause. We all took our places, Vanity behind her drums, Eden to my left, Monet to my right, and me in the center behind my microphone.

"Hey, hey, hey! How you guys doing?!" They screamed. "Yeah, awesome! Ready to rock?!" They screamed again.

Vanity started playing the drum solo that started 'Vanity's Song'. Yes, we all had songs named after us. 'Winter's Ballad', 'Monet's Tune', 'Eden's Melody', and 'Vanity's Song'. We always opened with 'Vanity's Song', followed by 'Eden's Melody', then 'Monet's Tune', then 'Winter's Ballad'. These songs are really cool, because they all start where the other left off. 'Vanity's Song' ends with a fading power chord, 'Eden's Melody' starts with the same power chord, that one ends with a bass line, 'Monet's Tune' begins with the bass line, it ends with a guitar riff, and 'Winter's Ballad' starts with the same riff. It's pretty cool.