The Devil's Redemption | ✓

|66| The confession

"I thought we were okay." He simply says his gaze still on me. "That you had forgiven me."

"That's the issue, I did forgive you but we are obviously not okay, it's clear something is going on and it can't be a coincidence that it's after what I asked you to do so if you resent me I will understand but I need to know how you are feeling about it."

"I did what you told me to do. Isn't that enough?" He leaves the fork down once again.

"So you do resent me," I state trying to figure out if he does or not.

"I don't understand why any of this is necessary."

"We are going back to what we promised we wouldn't go back to. We are drifting away, barely talking or seeing each other and I think this time it's my fault so I need to know if you resent me." I repeat once again hoping this will help him understand.

He just looks at me in silence and for the first time in forever, I can't tell a thing about what he might be thinking. His stare is almost blank, giving nothing away. Not even the smallest of details.

"I knew that day could come, that maybe someday you would ask me to do that for you. And no I didn't like it but I expected it Mia. I knew it could happen." He finally says his voice as cold as ice but still not answering my question.

He is hiding, he is hiding behind his words.

"You are evading my question, you are hiding, Carlos," I say softly looking straight into his blue eyes.

"I can't believe we are doing this. What do you want me to say? That I resent you for asking me to do the one thing I promised myself I would never do. You want me to tell you that I resent you because for the last few days I have been trying to convince myself that I'm not a piece of shit that has betrayed everything he ever was. That I resent you for making me work with the man who put my brother in fucking jail? Is that what you want me to say?" He doesn't elevate his voice, not even a little but to me, it feels as if he were shouting.

"Yes, that's what I want," I mutter and his reaction takes me totally off guard. Because instead of getting up and leaving, instead of huffing and calling me crazy he just laughs.

He laughs. A short low chuckle accompanied by his head tilting backwards.

"Sabes Mia, no puedo decirte eso porque no sería cierto. Nunca podría decirte que te tengo rencor y sabes por qué no? Porque haría cualquier cosa por ti." He says looking directly into my eyes, so intensively that I can barely breathe. "Si me pidieses que the diese mi casa, mi coche, todo lo que tengo te lo daría en un segundo. Si me pidieses que matara a alguien por ti buscaría a esa persona y lo haría, joder si me pidieses que diera mi vida por la tuya no tendría ni que pensármelo dos veces. Responde eso tu pregunta o sigo puto escondiéndome?" Now he did elevate his tone and my heart beats faster than I ever thought it could. (Well Mia, I can't tell you that because it would be a lie, I could never resent you for asking me to do something like that and you know why? Because I would do anything for you. If you asked me to give you my house, my car, everything I own I would give it to you in a second. If you asked me to kill someone for you I would find that person and get it done, hell if you asked me to give my life for yours I wouldn't even have to think about it twice. Does that answer your question or I'm I still fucking hiding?)

I stare at him, my whole body tense. I have no words.

"I- I don't know what to say," I whisper still in shock at his angry confession.

"It's okay, I didn't expect you to say anything in return. You wanted to know and now you know, that's all that matters. The only person I resent is myself." He replies standing up from the dinner table and taking both our plates into the sink as if he hadn't just confessed he would die and kill for me.