APH America One Shots

To Be Social

Alfie having severe anxiety?? Who would have thought! This was based off a headcanon about him having social anxiety, but I made it angsty. If triggering, don't read and stay safe!

"The meeting will now reconvene. The next presenting country can come up now, and please, please, keep everything as clear and concise as you can in the allotted twenty minutes. England now has the stand."

Alfred winced at the implications behind the words. He was pretty sure Germany glanced at him for a moment when he said them. But maybe he was imagining things, he hadn't even presented yet. It had to have been directed at everyone in the room, right? Right?

Yeah, he didn't anything wrong. Yet. Fine, he'll just not draw attention to himself until it was his turn. He started scribbling on his program, already having read it twenty times, tapping his knee repeatedly with his other hand. He was vaguely aware of England moving past him, but he didn't look up in fear of making direct eye contact.

Wait. United Kingdom. That meant the United States was next. Shit, that was way too soon. He still needed to take out his typed notes to hand in to Germany, along with his hard drive to plug into the projector. Not too bad, he still had about eighteen minutes left. He just hoped he was able to get all his information correct, he spent weeks on it, yet he was sure something was missing.

And what if his PowerPoint didn't save completely, he checked it at least ten times last night but he didn't check again this morning. He mentally kicked himself for being so stupid. His shaking knee hit the bottom of the table and he hissed in pain, earning a few annoyed looks from the countries besides. He ducked his head to hide his reddening cheeks.

Would it cause too big of a commotion if he jumped out the window?

No, stop, bad Alfred. Therapists would have a field day with his very funny and not at all self-deprecating jokes. Come on yeeting himself off a bridge sounded fun! Nothing wrong with that!

Ten minutes.

Calm down, Jones, literally no one cares about what you're thinking. Okay, not the best motivational speech but it got him moving. He reached into his bag for his notes. He froze up when he realized there was nothing inside. He felt around some more, frantically hoping it would suddenly materialize. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. All that work god knows where, probably still on the bed in his hotel room.

Tears of frustration stung his eyes, and he blinked them back. All that work gone. How was he supposed to go up in front of the literal world now. Maybe there was a way to stall them, go back to the hotel and get his presentation. He could sneak out and reappear like he never even left.

"America. You're up."

Oh no no no. The twenty minutes was up already?! And now everyone was looking at him expectantly. Please stop looking at me, dammit. He opened his mouth to say something but the words got caught in his throat. This wasn't how America was supposed to act. America was loud and annoying with his stupid little ideas. America did not get anxiety over a simple meeting, his throat freezing up when the spotlight was turned on him.

America didn't, but Alfred did.

England who had sat back down, nudged him, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. Germany was looking at him with that tired expression he seemed to be wearing more and more these days. Join the club. "America, your speech on global warming, please," he said again. At least he was somewhat trying not to show his annoyance.

Alfred swallowed, trying to talk again. "Yeah, bro, about that. I seemed to misplace my notes. Must've lost them in McDonald's or something" he joked, his high pitched chuckle grating to his own ears. "It's hard being the hero, I can't keep track of some stupid papers all the time, am I right?" He emphasized the words with an eye roll.

"Idiot," England muttered besides him, and he flinched inwardly. Great, now England was mad at him too. Germany's eyes twitched but he must of been working on his anger issues because he still managed to keep his cool.

"Okay, then. Apparently Mr. Hero here," Alfred flinched at that, "decided he's too important to give a speech on a problem that is more than half of his fault. We understand that you can't see beyond your own nose and don't care what happens to others, but the rest of us do. Until you can get your business together, I will have to ask you to leave."

Alfred gaped at that, the words hitting him harder than a bullet ever could. Never had he been asked to leave a meeting before, had he finally destroyed everything he worked so hard to maintain. He looked around trying to pinpoint someone who would object Germany's order, but everyone was suddenly interested in their laps or a spot on the wall.

"Yeah, well, I was about to leave anyway, hero duties and all that. See ya later dudes!"

No one returned the sentiment, not that he was expecting them to, and he took that as his sign to leave. He hightailed it to his car, slamming his key into the ignition and placing his hands and forehead on the wheel. Only did he let the tears fall, shoulders shaking.

"Fuck. Fuck. FUCK."

Of all the things to screw up. He hadn't froze up like that in years, so why now? He hated when he couldn't even control his own body, he hated those stupid meetings, but most of all he hated himself for not being strong enough to fight it.

Some hero he was.

He bit hand to stop from screaming in frustration. He just wanted to go home and curl up in his bed, maybe pet Hero's soft fur. But most of all he just wanted to disappear.

The thought made him relax a little and he turned the key in the ignition. They made their thoughts known to him, how him and his little problem meant nothing to them, and how they definitely wanted him to disappear forever, to be completely gone and erased. He was not paranoid, at all, it was just a feeling he could feel deep within.

Okay. Okay, he could do that for them.

Working on a RusAme Hamilton au one shot :)