The Alpha Second Mate

The Silence

Initially I wanted to lose my wolf if it meant I would be able to settle in the human world but reality just sets in, my wolf had been the only thing that had been with me all through my suffering, though she was far away in my mind, she was still there all this while hanging on, my wolf was my true soulmate and now I might lose her.

I had not realized that I had been crying until Hannah passed me a tissue paper, I accepted it and wiped my face and I said the words that shocks Kaden, Hannah and I also

"I want to die with my wolf, if she is dying I want to die with her"

"What!" Kaden growled

"Louisiana goodness!" Hannah eyes were widened in shock but it was too late to take back my statement, this was what I wanted, if my wolf was dying it is only good that I die with her. I don't think I would want a life without her in me.

"Please!, Help me!, Do something!, set me free from this world!" I cried hysterically as I held on to Hannah's lab coat, Hannah was stunned by my behavior but I wouldn't stop pleading for death

"Stop it!" Kaden warned angrily but I ignored him and kept on, I know I was making Hannah uncomfortable but there was a possibility that she would understand my pain and help me end it all

"Alpha?" Hannah asks in confusion on what she is to do, I gripped her coat tighter

"Louisiana!" Kaden boomed in his Alpha's tone but his voice does nothing to me, maybe I have indeed ran mad.

If Hannah wasn't going to help me, I will find another way, that is it, there are million of ways to die , aren't there ?, maybe Kaden would be willing to help me since he hates me so much. I release Hannah's coat and focus my attention on Kaden

"You don't want me, you hate me. Do it!, kill me!, spare me for this pain!" I cried, Kaden stares as me dumbfounded

"Hannah leave!" Kaden ordered

"But Alpha– " Hannah hesitated but Kaden cuts her off

"Now!" He yells and that was to make Hannah scurry her way out of the room and then there was just the two of us

"Please Alpha, Please Alpha" I cried in desperation,

"I can't" he said in a surprising calm voice

"Why?, I am your torture, a reminder of your pain, I am the daughter of the man that killed your mate, your pup, I do not deserve mercy, kill me!"

"I can't" he responded again, I was disappointed, why wouldn't he free me, did he want to see me wither?, was that the thing that gave him pleasure?.

"Please" I clamped my hands begged as the tears streamed down my face "I will do anything, I beg you, I will go through any punishment you give me, just grant me this, this is the only duty I ask of you as a mate"

Kaden face turned into regret and guilt, I did not want him to feel guilty for my situation, I wanted his anger, his vexation and wrath, this was what I wanted from him now, that would be only way he would set me free. He walked up to my bed and I begged him once again , he cups my face in his hands,

"I will do anything you want me to do" I begged, he looked deep into my eyes, his orbs piercing into my broken soul, before I could speak again, his lips were on mine and my eyes widened at what was happening and the sparks spread across my body, my wolf rejoices but I am frightened.

Then as quickly as it happens he removes himself and created distance between us, while I recover from the shock of his actions. I look at him and see the regret in his eyes, this time it was about the kiss, it was mistake and I was not expecting it to be anything more than that.

"I can't kill you" he said and my spirit diminishes, maybe he would feel guilty for killing his mate but he shouldn't I was never worthy of being his mate, this was all a mistake of nature anyway, this was never meant to be.

"You don't have to feel guilty over my death, this mate thing is a glitch somewhere, see me as just a regular wolf that trespassed your land" I reasoned

"But you are not a regular wolf that trespassed my land!" He slammed his hand on the cupboard by my bed, but I wasn't going to give up

"Yes, yes, you are right, I am the daughter of a monster, the spawn of a murderer, my death is fair justice" I cajoled, that was it, I feel the anger brewing in him and I continue to rile him up "It is fair justice, I will do anything you want me to do and you just have to kill me, the wolves would not dare question you, that is a fact"

I have completely lost it, I am mad and I am accepting it, the three years of abuse have made me this way, Diana would be saddened at how low I have fallen but she would mourn my death, I will leave a message for her, telling her that this is my choice, this is what I craved for, I cannot live without my wolf then I will die with her.

"You will do anything?" Kaden asks

"Yes" I immediately responded, my wish was finally coming to pass, I might not have had control over how my life had turned out but at least I get to have control of how I die

"You will leave in this pack for a year and by the third month you must consent to bearing my pup and by the time you have birth him, I will grant you want you solely desire" he said but my heart shattered, I cannot birth a child and leave him or her alone, I cannot abandon my pup, he was giving me an impossible choice

"Why are you doing this to me?, you do not desire me nor my body yet you want me to bare you a pup" I say in confusion

"I have given my condition, it is up to you to decide on the course you are going to take"

"I can't abandon my pup!" I yelled "I don't want to leave a part of myself behind!"

"I know" he said coolly

"What?"

"The deal is off, I refuse to stain my hands with your blood, you are not deserving of that as well"

My heart sank

"If you want to die, I will not let you, you don't get to escape this world easily, I suffer, you suffer" he said

"I cannot live without my wolf, please!" I begged

"You will have to learn to" he said as he walked out of the room leaving me in a daze.

Kaden is aware of the worthlessness of a werewolf that has lost his or her wolf, he wants me to feel that worthlessness, he wants me to live and suffer at the same time . I only hope the next time I change, I don't make it out, I hope the change succeeds in killing me , if Kaden would not give me the one thing I wish for maybe the nature would give me.