Sex Diary

Chapter 21 (Court Hearing)

It was the day of my court hearing and I was nervous as hell. I still wasn't sure on what I wanted to do. I thought about it all night and I still don't know. Like do I continue to be true to Keenan or do I do what's best for me? The smart thing would be for me to turn Keenan in but it won't be at the same time. If I turn Keenan in, he can easily get somebody to kill me. I just don't know what to do.

   Terrell came to my cell to check on me. How you doing Crystal? I'm a ball of emotions right now. I can see it all on your face. You still haven't decided what you wanted to do? I been thinking about that all night. If I turn the person in, it could backfire on me. What you mean? He is a very dangerous man; I know what it means to cross him. Me turning him in will only cause problems for me. Problems that I can't fix from my grave. What you saying? I'm saying if I turn him in, he will have me killed. You can always make a deal with the judge. Give them the proof you have; tell them you would give them the person they need as long as they protect you. I see it done all the time, Terrell said. I think I might do that, thanks. No problem, ill come check on you when I finish making my rounds. If they can give me some protection, ill do it. I need some real protection, not no witness protection program shit. I need something that I know for a fact that will protect me. It was time for my court hearing, and I wasn't nervous no more. Before going into the court room, my lawyer met with me.

   You ready to get this over with, my lawyer asked? Yes, but I wanna make a deal with the judge. What kind of deal? I did this for someone, I have the proof and everything. I will turn him in if they promise me some protection. What kind of proof do you have? I have proof of him telling me the location of the place. That's it? Yeah, everything else was said to me. That's not going to be enough, you going to need real solid proof. Like what? A recorded conversation, some type of video evidence, a confession or something. The judge not going to take the proof you have. It's not enough to prove you not a drug dealer. I can't get real evidence if im in here. Can't you use the fact that I don't have a record? I can but it still won't really help you.

   Now im fucked! I don't have no solid proof that Keenan a drug dealer. We only talked about business when we were together and now im starting to see why. If I could convince the judge to let me out so I can get proof, ill be good. Now im back nervous as hell. We walked into the court room and I was scared as shit. I didn't know what was about to happen. I just kept praying that my plan work and the judge cut me some slack. 20 mins had gone by and I was more depressed than I was walking in.

   The judge didn't cut me no slack whatsoever. I'm looking 7 years and 4 months until otherwise. The judge said my proof didn't tell him shit and it's not saying I was doing it for Keenan. I don't know what to do right now. I'm trying so hard to stay strong, but I feel myself breaking any minute. I made it back to cell and I just wanted to die. How it go, Kee'vary asked? Not good at all. What they say? I'm looking at 7 years and 4 months. Damn! You better snitch on that nigga. Don't throw away 7 years of your life for him. I can't turn him in even if I wanted to. Why not? I don't have enough proof that I was doing it for him. The proof I have not enough, and I don't have no other kind of proof. You don't have no text messages of y'all talking about it? No, we always talked about business in person. We never talked about it over the phone. This is why, he smart tho. I asked the judge could I get out and get proof. Lol you thought that was a good idea? How else im going to get proof while im in here?

    What about the girl that came to visit you? Can't she get some kind of proof and send it to you? They hate each other, so I know he not going to discuss business with her like that. She just gotta trick him into talking about it to her. Like you said, he smart so he not going to go for that. I set him up to get robbed and he knew it was me. How? I'm the only person that knows his drop spot. You just gotta use that to your advantage, Kee'vary said. If you know a lot about his business, you could use that against him. You not cool with nobody else that could trap him? No, I said. We gotta think of something, it's a way you can get proof. We sat up all night trying to think of a plan. Nothing we came up with would really work. I might as well just do my time; I shouldn't have agreed to do the drop for him in the first place. I'm going to suck it up and do my time. It's going to kill me but it's my fault im in this mess anyway.