Blooming in the Spring

Chapter 19

The letter arrives as we are nearing the end of June.

I'm sitting in the living room, fumbling over a knot in my ball of yarn when Peeta walks in, envelope in hand. 

"We have mail," he says, though I don't register the grim expression on his face at first. In fact, I can hardly bother to look up from my knot. It's not unusual for us to get mail, sometimes Hazelle will send a letter to update me on the kids--though she always treads carefully over mentions of Gale--or Effie will write about how much she misses us. 

"Who from?" I say casually, finally setting the yarn free. 

"It says it's from Annie," he says, his voice faltering slightly at her name. 

At this, I let my knitting fall carelessly into my lap and look up to meet his eyes--that I now see are heavy with sadness. 

I have not seen or spoken to Annie since just before Snow's execution when we voted on the Games with the Capitol children. I remember the look of betrayal on her face when I voted yes. Of course, I hadn't been thinking clearly at the time. All I could focus on was avenging my sister and ensuring that nothing like the horrors of my past could happen again, ultimately leading me to assassinate Coin. But still, Annie could not have known this. How cruel I must have seemed to her, voting to hold another Games. As if getting her husband killed wasn't unspeakable enough. Since then, I haven't been able to face her. I've hardly allowed myself a second to think of her, as I'm immediately consumed with devastating guilt. 

Peeta hesitates for a moment but upon seeing my reluctance to open the contents of the envelope, he sits beside me on the couch and splits open the crease slowly and carefully. He pulls out a neatly folded piece of parchment covered in beautifully written ink in handwriting that must belong to Annie herself. 

I'm grateful when Peeta unfolds the letter himself and begins to read. At the mere memory of Finnick and Annie, my hands are shaking so much I have to sit on top of them. 

I watch Peeta carefully, as his eyes scan over the first few words. He glances up at me and then back down at the paper, clearing his throat to read it aloud. 

Dear Katniss and Peeta, 

I know it's been a long time since we've last spoken but I think it's been best to take time to heal from the horrors we've all endured. Dr. Aurelius has been checking up on me in these last few months, as I'm sure he has you, and has been a great help to me. 

It's easy to feel alone after everything, though I'd imagine you already know this, but Dr. Aurelius reminds me that we will always have each other and the memory of our loved ones to hold onto.  This notion has helped me to work through things and is the reason I'm writing this to you now. I know that we didn't know each other very well but I also know that my Finnick loved you both. I know that the three of you protected each other, for a long time. And for that, I am eternally grateful and can't help but see the both of you as friends too. I hope you know that you'll always have a friend in me too, here in District 4. 

It's been healing, being home and with the sea again. For the first time in a very long time, I think I've managed to find happiness again. And I'm loving every moment with my son, who reminds me every day of his father. I named him Finn, as they've both got the same beautiful green eyes. I would love for the two of you to meet him someday soon. 

We've all suffered so much but we owe it to their memories and to our children to do our best with these lives. I hope you're both finding some peace. 

Please stay in touch. 

Annie

A sad, nostalgic sort of silence falls over the living room as Peeta finishes reading the letter and passes me a photo that must have been attached. In an instant, my eyes are filled with salty tears. In the photo is Annie holding a baby boy, who indeed does have Finnick's green eyes--though he's got tufts of her auburn hair. Still, his resemblance to Finnick is uncanny.