Hiding My Heart

Chapter 20

"Why do you think that?" Sasha asks her eyes looking up at me, her hand stilling. 

I shrug. "Because he has a mate out there somewhere, and because I can't get in a relationship, not with what happened last time." I look away in embarrassment. 

She hums to this and I feel her fingers go back to work. "What if he really really really likes you?" 

I snort at this, "He won't for long as soon as he finds out about what happened to me." I felt anger rise then, no one will want me after they find out the truth. 

Sasha sighs at this and pulls back, finishing one foot, leaving it to dry. "You don't know that. You told him about your father didn't you? And he didn't run for the hills at that, what makes you think he will when you tell him about your attack?" She has a point, but I was just too afraid of the outcome. 

"This isn't easy for me Sasha, you know that." I point out and she nods. 

"I do, but I've seen the change in you since you have befriended him. You have done so well already; don't let your fears take control of your feelings." 

"But he still has a mate-" I protest. 

"Oh gosh! You two are driving me crazy!" She says throwing her hands up and glaring at me.  

"What are you talking about?" I huff sitting up and narrowing my eyes at her. 

"I'm talking about how ridiculous you and Preston and being. You for not telling him the truth, because he's going to find out sooner or later with all the rumors going around. He needs to hear the truth from you. And he's being ridiculous for not telling you about mates! If he told you then you would trust him with your secret and- and-" She stops, her face draining of color, as if she just got caught doing something she wasn't supposed to. 

"And?" I prompt but she shakes her head no.  

"I've already blabbed enough. Just don't-" She sigh rubbing her temples, "Just don't worry about the whole mate thing ok?" 

"How can I not-" 

"Did you like the kiss?" She changes tactics. 

I hesitate for a moment before sighing. "Yes, I liked the kiss. It was earth shattering." I admit. 

She nods, "Then just focus on that, focus on your feelings for him, nothing else should matter. Tell him ok? He needs to know." 

"I'm scared though." I finally admit closing my eyes and leaning back so my backrests on the mattress lightly, "I'm scared of my feelings for him." 

I hear her move so she's sitting right next to me, her arm wrapping around my shoulder. "I know Dee, I know. This is the first time you've felt attracted to a boy since the attack. I get that you're scared about these feelings since the last time it ended badly." She makes me look at her as she says fiercely, "But Preston isn't like Jared, at all. He wants to protect you and have you by his side. He won't hurt you, ever. Do you understand?" 

I nod meekly. She gave my shoulder one last squeeze before moving back down and finishing up my toes. As she is painting my toenails I start thinking about all that she has said. I know Preston is a good guy, he's even told me he wants to protect me, just like Scott does. I've grown to know him and befriend him, he is a good guy.  

I want to move on from the accident and it feels like being with Preston is just what I need. But with Jared back, I can't find myself to move on. When he returned it made everything come back, the constant fear, all the hits, everything bad that happened to me flashing across my eyes. How can I drag Preston into my problems? When I don't even know how he felt about the kiss? When I don't even know about his mate? Could there be a future with us?