Close Protection

Countdown Begins

o+o+o

The suite was silent after everyone left, Minah and I sat on separate sofas lost in our thoughts; the images I'd seen burnt into my brain as deeply as the sight of my mother the morning I'd woken up to find her gone; as deeply as the sight of Bambam's body lying in the dust of a Afghan street, the blood seeping into the dirt and sand. Jennie's face as she'd stared into the camera was just one more painful image that I'd have to try to live with.

Though this time at least I had the opportunity to redeem myself; in my own eyes if not in Jennie's. This time I had the chance to go and get her back.

"Would you like a drink dear?" Minah suddenly said dragging me from my gloomy thoughts, "I think I need another strong coffee before we get started."

"I'll do it Minah," I said getting up and stretching, "I'm sure I saw a kettle in that dresser over there."

"Don't be silly dear," she said patting the chair next to her, "we'll order from room service again; I think we both need to talk about what we've just seen, I know I do anyway."

I nodded grimly as she picked up the rooms phone for the third time that morning and ordered our drinks. Mouthing what I was going to do, and getting a nod from my host I took the opportunity to head for my bathroom and freshen up; the mere act of taking a quick shower and brushing my teeth making me feel slightly more human. When I walked back into the suite, robe wrapped tightly around me and rubbing a towel through my wet hair, I found it deserted, Minah nowhere to be seen.

There was, however, a hastily scribbled note on the coffee table and the sound of running water from Minah's room, her note telling me that my idea was so good she'd followed my example and headed for the shower herself. She's also told me that room service was on its way and that I should listen out for a knock at the door.

With an amused smile at her words, I sat down on the sofa and carried on drying my hair while I waited. It wasn't long before the knock at the door came and I'd just ushered the employee from the room when Minah appeared in a matching outfit to mine.

"Well aren't we the very height of fashion?" she said with a faint smile tugging at the lapels of her gleaming white hotel robe as she sat down.

"First time anyone's said that about me," I said as I sat down next to her again and pulling the tray towards us. "Usual?"

"Can I have an extra spoonful of sugar please Lisa? I think I need it after this morning's shocks. Actually," she added thoughtfully, "I think I'd like something much stronger to put into it, but this will have to do for now."

I nodded as I poured her a drink, adding the two large spoonful's of sugar and stirring before adding the milk and passing it over to her.

"Mmmmm, that hits the spot," she said happily as she took a long sip while I made my own drink.

"Sure does," I said sitting back, leaning against the sofa arm so I could look at her. "So, how are you feeling Minah? That wasn't a pretty thing to have to see."

"I don't think it's sunk in dear, it's like it wasn't real, though I know it was. I'm not sure how I should feel either; relieved, upset, I just don't know."

There was a distinct break in Minah Kim's voice as she spoke, her impressive emotional barrier sounding close to breaking.

"I'm sorry dear," she said taking a deep breath before diving into her cup again, "this must seem so stupid to someone like you."

"Why's that? I asked gently, trying not to poke at the open wound.

"Well with the things you've seen, the things that you've told me and Jennie about; and all the things you haven't. It must seem so silly."

"It doesn't seem silly at all Minah," I said, shifting my way along the sofa to get closer to her. "We all go through this in some way or another. That was as unpleasant for me as anyone else."

"Really?" she asked her face looking pained.

"Really," I replied reaching out to awkwardly pat her knee. "I felt terrible as we watched that video because I wanted Brian to die; well...I didn't want anyone to die," I corrected myself quickly. "...but if one of them was to die I didn't want it to be Jennie. That's not a nice thing to want; and when they killed him, I felt really guilty for thinking that."

"That's how I felt dear, exactly how I feel right now. I'm so relieved that Jennie's still alive, but I'm feeling terrible about poor Brian, for wanting him to die."

"You shouldn't," I said shaking my head to emphasise the point, "what we're feeling is perfectly normal Minah, so the head-shrinkers used to tell us when we lost someone. I'm sure Jennie and Joanna would tell you the same thing if they could. It's natural to feel confused like that, trust me I know."

"Jennie's not going to be the same person when she gets home is she Lisa?" Minah said suddenly with tears running down her cheeks. "Not after going through something like that, not after seeing someone killed in front of her."

I shook my head, even though part of me was sure my Jennie was the sort of person that would have taken Brian's place if the chips had fallen her way; deep down I suspected that human nature would have taken over when they'd been dragged to their knees, when they knew their fate was sealed. I was sure that she'd have been thinking the same thing I would have been in her shoes, 'him not me, him not me; kill him, not fucking me!'

"It'll be tough for her," I replied eventually, realising that Minah was waiting for me to respond, "but she's strong Minah. She's really, really strong; and when we get her back she'll have people around her that care...that's going to make a huge difference."

"That's true," she replied squeezing my arm, "she really will. The family will look after her, and she's got some very good friends now with Soohyun and Yeaji...you'll be there with us too, won't you Lisa?"

That last question was asked almost shyly, as if double checking that I hadn't changed my mind since I'd sent them both the messages I had back in Blighty.

"If she still want's me around," I said, finally voicing the fears that had dogged me since I sent the message that Jennie never received. "If I haven't fucked things up completely by being an arsehole for the last few weeks."

"She never thought that you know Lisa dear," Minah replied, reaching out and grabbing my hand tightly. "She did understand, in fact the only person she thought was an arsehole was her, after she turned up at Soohyun' making demands."

"Even so," I said shaking my head as she squeezed my knuckles, "I was a twat to her, and she didn't deserve that...I just couldn't help myself."

"I know dear and Jennie knew that too; and what's more I know she still loves you, she'll want you around when we get her home. In fact, I suspect she'll need you more than any of us."

"Why's that?" I asked, watching as she smiled at my furrowed brow.

"Because you'll be better than anyone at understanding what she's going through right now won't you?"

I shook my head to signal my lack of understanding, causing Minah to smile at me sadly.

"You've been there haven't you dear? Or at least, you've had to deal with coming home after something awful like this."

I nodded, sipping at my coffee and avoiding her look. I knew about doing that, I knew about doing that all too well.