The Exposure

Chapter Thirty-Nine

          "Yes?" He says in his deep voice, the huskiness still lingering a bit. "Enter."

           Professor McGonagall enters the room, scanning Severus's face as he leans back against his desk, crossing his arms casually. "Severus. I've just come to check on you. I'm wondering how you've been handling the distance between yourself and Miss Y/n?" He clears his throat, his cheeks turning a bit red. Your heart thuds in your chest as McGonagall steps closer. "Well...I won't deny it has been incredibly difficult. For both of us."

          You hope to Merlin she doesn't decide to stay and have a seat.

          She nods, her eyes sternly baring into his. "Yes. It is vital that you remind yourself exactly why you have made the decision to keep your distance. I know it is difficult, but it is in her best interest." Snape's eyes drop to the floor in silence. "You still believe that, don't you Severus?"

          His eyes slowly drift up to yours, locking eyes with you, so intently that you wonder if the spell has been broken and you've become visible again. "I'm not so sure of it anymore, Minerva...I have never seen her so...miserable." He replies softly, his eyes looking up at the Professor.

          "Go on," she urges. His voice is earnest, "She has suffered academically in all her classes, she nearly set a student on fire in defense against the dark arts, she isn't eating and she seems...so despondent. It would be remiss to say this hasn't impacted her negatively." Your eyes burn with tears at the tenderness in his voice when he speaks of your pain. The compassion in his eyes...the way he makes you feel seen.

          Professor McGonagall breathes deeply and is silent for a moment. "I suppose you are correct about that. However, I cannot allow this relationship to continue this way. It's unfair to the other students, and ultimately unfair to Miss Y/n herself. You see that, don't you Severus? Why this relationship cannot continue? The age gap alone is enough to raise a brow, but to add to that the power imbalance of student and professor...?" She shakes her head and sighs.

          He sighs and finally nods. "Yes," he says in a quiet voice. Your heart drops into your stomach. No! "I don't know what to do," He continues. "I would endure the distance in her best interest, but her pain is so...palpable. I long to comfort her and offer her some relief from it." He looks pleadingly into her eyes, "Don't you see how the separation will have an injurious effect on the very things you are trying to protect? Her focus on her academics, her young and inexperienced heart?"

          His gaze drops again, "If I truly was convinced that this was beneficial for her, I would set my desires aside without another thought––you know that, Minerva...but she is not well. She suffers because of this."

          Professor McGonagall says nothing for a while, thoughtfully considering the situation. It's clear that your best interests are difficult things to place. "Perhaps I can speak with her and explain why this would be best for her." She pauses and finally says, "Severus...I have thought a lot about this whole ordeal, and...surely you must also know that to continue this relationship, even after she graduates...is not good for her. You do know that, don't you?"

          Snape's eyes soften and after a long silence, he eventually nods, his voice coming out soft and barely above a whisper, "Yes." Your heart drops into your stomach as a feeling of dread overcomes you.

          McGonagall's voice is gentle when she speaks, almost maternal. "She is so young, and to rob her of the chance to be with someone her own age, to experience life with someone at her own level, an equal...would not be fair. You are laying a foundation for her that is incredibly vital. She must be free to choose...but I feel she cannot make an informed choice with such an imbalance. You are her professor, and should remain nothing more."