Wot In The Harri Potter?

35 - The Heartbreaker

"I know," I agree, "Umbridge is out of control - now she's headteacher, what next?"

Fred stills, something he has been doing a lot lately much to my disconcertment.

"I'm not talking about Umbridge," he says slowly, his eyes casting downwards as I look at him questioningly.

"Fred?"

"George and I are leaving."

I try not to let the panic rise. Stay calm.

"Oh?"

"We've found a premises in Diagon Alley. It's perfect for our business."

This should be exciting news, but he delivers it in a monotone voice, still not meeting my eye.

Breathe, just breathe.

"We're leaving tonight," he continues dully.

"What about Hogwarts?" What about me?

"It's pointless, we're wasting our time here. George and I don't need qualifications - we're both business minded and we're all set to go."

I try not to panic. I hate goodbyes, but this will be okay. It's not like we didn't know we wouldn't be at Hogwarts together forever anyway, what with Fred being in his final year. And there's still the holidays.

"Well, that's great news!" I say with a forced brightness, trying so hard to smile and not cry.

"The thing is," Fred says slowly, and he lifts his head and finally looks into my eyes. But I wish he hadn't, because now I can see the expression on his face, I know exactly what is coming next.

"I think we should break up."

I feel as though I've just been slapped. I just look at him, speechless.

"Please don't take this the wrong way," Fred says quickly. "I just think given the circumstances, you will be better off without me. I don't want you spending your days waiting to see me again when you have a whole world of relationships and life ahead of you. You do not want to be lumbered with some joker in a shop."

I literally cannot believe what I am hearing. How can this be the same boy who tells me he loves me?

"You are not just some joker to me," I say, finally finding my voice, "you are my Fred, and I love you."

His face crumples then, and there is such a sadness in his eyes that I find myself wanting to take it away. But he is the one doing this - he is the one saying these words which are completely shattering my heart.

"I love you too," he says, his voice trembling, "which is why I am doing this. You are only sixteen and I don't want you waking up in years to come resenting me for robbing you of life. You're going to fall for other people and go on amazing adventures, and I do not want to be your obstacle to all of those things."

"I don't want anyone else, Fred - I want you."

"You say that now, but Harri, you've only ever been with me."

"You want me to sleep around?" I splutter. "Is this some kind of joke, Fred, because it's not funny."

"Harri, I'm trying to free you."

"I DON'T NEED FREEING!"

I feel panicked, as though the solid ground beneath my feet has disappeared. I grapple around in my mind for anything to say to stop Fred from doing this, but deep down I can see he's already made his mind up. He's already left me and there's nothing I can do about it.

"Please," I beg instead, my voice a pathetic whimper as tears begin to roll down my cheeks. "Don't do this, Fred."

But he shakes his head, his face pained. How can a simple shake of a head shatter my heart so much?

I feel so broken and wretched, and when he steps forward to take me in his arms I sob harder, because I know this is his goodbye.

I hold onto him as tightly as I can, desperate not to let him go. I inhale his scent, and try to memorize every contour of his body, his broad chest, the way his muscles taughten in his arms as he holds me equally tight. Even the beat of his heart is like the sweetest song to me.

Don't leave me.

I hear him choke as a sob of his own wracks his body.

"You've given me the best year of my life," he murmurs hoarsely as he ardently presses his lips against my scar. "I'll never forget that."

I lift my face and suddenly we are kissing, his hands in my hair, on my back. The kiss is urgent, desperate, longing, and all I want to do is to dissolve into him and be with him forever.

"Harri-" he chokes, breaking the kiss and leaning his forehead down on mine as his fingers clasp the back of my head.

Our hearts thud noisily between us, our breaths fast and disjointed.

"Don't go," I whisper one more desperate time.

"I'm sorry, Harri," he murmurs sadly in a voice which wrecks my heart. "I really am."

And then he lets me go.

*****