The crow and the beast - Kaz brekker

chapter 41 - He was her anchor

Kaz felt like he was being tortured. Every single time she screamed his heart would be ripped in 2. She screamed bloody murder. Sometimes afraid sometimes our of rage. She had shifted to her monstrous form a few time lashing out, trying to get free but to no avail.

he was scared to death that she would snap her neck at some point when she would lash out. He never left the stables, he tried to give her pillows but she would let nobody near, nobody was allowed in her vision. She would have these moments where she would be so angry, he would call out to her. calling her name and it would help for a moment but the anger would return soon after.

but all of this was not even the worst part, to keep her fever down he and peter took turns throwing buckets of cold water on top of her. they couldn't get close to her so this was the only way. He absolutely hated it and would ask for forgiveness after every bucket.

sometimes she would cry, he could hear her sniffling and crying but as soon as he would come into her vision she would not see him but whatever monster she was imagining. Screaming of terror or lashing out. It broke his heart over and over.

this had been going on for 2 more days now, he was about to emotionally break but peter would say that she was strong, she would get through this. And he would believe her, he dared not think otherwise. The other crows stayed away, he had ordered them away.

on the third day there was a change. She was quite, completely and utterly quite. She just sat with her back against the pole. Soaking wet, she had on a shirt and pants that were absolutely drenched with water. She had her knees up and her arms around them. her head was resting on top of her knees.

he and peter had been observing her for a while, she was still breathing and peter said he could hear her heart beating fast and strong. Another hour passed and she had not moved from her spot, kaz couldn't take it anymore.

slowly he stood up from his spot behind a wall out of her sight and with the rhythmic ticking of his cane he approached her. "Cara" he tried calling out to her but no response came. "Cara!" he tried again. this time he could see her stir.

she slowly lifted her head, she looked terrible. They had tried getting food and water to her but she had eaten the bare minimum and thrown the food back at them. they locked eyes and kaz expected her to start screaming again but she kept quiet. "Cara can you see me?" her eyes looked glazed over but he saw the smallest nod come from the girl in front of him.

without a second thought he approached her and kneeled in front of her even though he could feel his leg protesting. She reached a hand out to him, he pulled of his gloves and threw them to the side. He wanted to touch her. he took her frail hand in both of his, her hand felt cold.... Her hand felt cold!

"peter! PETER!" he screamed, he heard the old man running as fast as he could towards them. once he was within earshot kaz spoke again without breaking eye contact with Cara "her hand is cold! The fever went down!" peter kneeled next to Cara.

"Cara dear" she turned to him as the seemed to recognize him she reached her other hand out to him. kaz looked over at peter who looked back to him and nodded. Kaz released a breath he didn't know he was holding as he moved swiftly. Taking out the key from inside his coat and clicking open the metal collar. "please forgive me for everything." Tears rolling down his cheeks.

Cara reached her hand up to his face and slowly wiped away his tears. Kaz put his arms underneath her and lifted her up, his leg protested again but at this time he simply did not care. He hugged her close to his chest, she felt cold. Normally it would make his trauma kick in but right now he was to happy that she felt cold and not like she was on fire anymore.

he walked her inside and upstairs to the bedroom. Peter followed them, taking kaz's cane and gloves with him but knowing he should give them privacy he went into the kitchen instead of following them upstairs.

Kaz slowly lowered put her in an upright position in the bed. then he turned around and took a new outfit and a new set of underwear out of her closet. He put the clothing on the bed and turned to her, unsure of what to do. She looked so weak, so fragile.

"is it okay if I help you?" Cara nodded with tired eyes. She started with her shirt lifting it over her head, he tried to avoid direct skin contact as much as possible. his hands slightly trembling. He then leaned over and unclasped her bra helping her get rid of the wet clothing item as well.

he averted his eyes as much as possible as he felt the tips of his ears turn red. He quickly went to the bathroom to get a towel initially but then decided it might be better for her to take a bath, a warm bath this time. So he turned on the tap before returning to the bedroom.

"I will help you with a bath, is this okay with you love?" she nodded and gave the slightest smile, he felt himself falling in love with her smile all over again. how he had missed her smile. She slowly stood up and removed the rest of her soaking wet outfit. Kaz tried to focus on her face.

she tried to take a step but immediately stumbled, kaz was quick to take a step forward to steady her. "I can help you." he whispered to her as he moved to pick her up once again. he knew both his ears and cheeks would be bright red by now but all he could think of now was helping the girl he loved.

he walked her over to the bath and placed her down gently into the warm water. He then kneeled next to the bath, taking a nearby cup and slowly pouring water over her hair, making sure to not get any in her eyes. He took some nearby shampoo and put some in his hands and then started washing her hair gently.

he saw her eyes close and while he was washing her hair he now saw that she had some pressure wounds and some scrapes from the metal collar on her neck. He tried to make sure to keep the soap out of the wounds as much as possible knowing it would sting.

once he was done rinsing her hair he simply sat next to her, waiting for her to signal him she wanted to leave the bath. Just being in her presence again warmed his heart, she would make it. She wasn't out of the woods yet but as far as peter told him the worst was over. "I love you" her voice was barely hearable but kaz heard it loud and clear. Guild had embedded itself in his chest for the last couple of days with the fear that if she would make it she would run as far away as possible from him.

but after everything she still loved him. he turned to her and they met eyes once again, then he took her head in his hands gently, placing a hand on each side of her head as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. When he pulled back there was so much he wanted to say, so much that went through his head but all he managed to get out was. "I love you to Cara"

she leaned forward and pulled the plug of the bath making the water level drop quickly. Kaz helped her get out of the bath and sit on the edge. He then took the towel he originally came to get and draped it over her shoulders.

the bath had given her some strength it seemed because she began drying herself before kaz could help her and then stood up with the towel around herself ready to go to the bedroom again. she looked a bit unsure and kaz put his arm around her waist to help her get to the bedroom and sit down on the bed again.

when she gave the towel to kaz he quickly turned away to put it with the other clothes that needed washing. By the time he returned she had managed to put on the outfit he had put on the bed. he called out to peter so he could take a look at Cara now.

when peter entered the room he smiled softly at Cara. "I don't know how much you remember of the last few days but we are very sorry we had to do what we did. Please forgive us." Cara nodded and looked from kaz to peter. "forgiven" she simply said.

Peter approached her and put his hand on her forehead. "the fever is not completely gone but in a day or 2 you should be completely fine. I will go make you some food and bring you tea. I am sure kaz here would love to spend some more time with you alone" he whispered the last part to her so that kaz wouldn't hear.

Cara nodded and positioned herself on the bed with her back against the head rest. Once peter left the room she patted the space next to her signaling kaz to join her, he gladly did so and sat on the bed next to her. he opened his arms for her and she gladly put her head on his chest, putting one of her legs over his to get more comfortable.

kaz spoke softly. "I was so scared you wouldn't make it, when you started having hallucinations and I couldn't get close to you ... I can not tell you how happy I am that you are better now." Cara felt weak, her muscles still ached but the pain was a lot better than before. She vaguely remembered the past few days but mostly she remembered how when she heard kaz's voice the evil around her would stop for just a moment giving her a moment to breath. He was her anchor that she held on to keep fighting, whenever she would hear him it would keep her sane.

she lifted her head slightly and kissed the man on his cheek, it was clear he hadn't properly taken care of himself either as he had started growing a small beard, it wasn't much just enough to tickle her when she kissed his cheek. He looked just as tired as she felt.

she put her head back down on his chest taking a deep breath, taking comfort in his scent. Before she could fall asleep however peter returned with food and tea for both kaz and her. "now both of you take care of yourself, I will go into ketterdam to inform the crows of the change in Cara's condition." Kaz nodded as peter left the room again.

after they both ate and kaz convinced Cara to drink as much of the tea as possible they both felt the exhaustion hit them like a brick. Cara had put her head back on his chest as kaz had wrapped an arm around her. for the first time he felt lucky, this could have been the end he realized. He wouldn't know what he would have done without her. but one thing he knew for certain.

Pekka rollins would pay for what he had done. He had made this personal and he would break him down for it, brick by brick until there was nothing left of him but a shell of a man.