Follow your Hart: Is this love?

You're not alone..

Alone. I'm alone. Riley's not here with me. My mom's not here. She won't be for a while.. My dad's gone. Riley's parents don't want anything to do with me. What now? Do I just stay alone? It's inevitable for me. Riley can't stay with me at all times. I'm tired of school. Nobody understands. Josh is too much of a jerk to understand. Riley's too naive to understand. My mom doesn't care to even talk to me about anything. I'm just alone. That's just how it is with me. That's how it will always be with me. "Maya!" Riley yelled as she ran to hug me, knocking me out of my chair. "Woa- Riley!" I said kind of annoyed and happily. "Wh-what are you doing here?!" I asked shocked. She smiles warmly at me. "I've known you for a couple years, I know where the spare key is. But how come you were home alone?" I get up off of the floor, sitting back down at my desk, looking down. "My mom's.. Uhh.. At work.." I was hoping she would believe me. But, being her, she probably would. She wraps her arms around me from behind, kissing my cheek. "Well I'll stay here with you until she gets back so you won't have to be alone." Hearing her say that causes my eyes to widen. "Wh- Riley, won't your parents, ya' know, worry?" I asked, trying to stay calm. My mom's going to be.. Gone for a while. But I don't want Riley to know that. I don't want her to worry about me more than she most likely already does. "But I don't want you to have to be alone." I get up, facing Riley, putting my hands on her shoulders, "Riley," I start, looking into her eyes. "Listen to me, I'm bound to be alone at some point Riley-" she interrupts me. "Maya you've been alone all your life! I don't want you to be alone anymore!" I sigh, walking away from her. "Riley, I'm used to being alone. I'm 9. I don't care. I'm used to it." Riley puts her hand on my shoulder, pulling me to face her, looking in my eyes, wrapping her arm around my waist, pulling me closer to her. "R-Riley-!" I stuttered out. She looks at me with puppy dog eyes, looking me in the eyes. "Maya.." She said, her voice low as she slowly inched closer to me. "Riley please. I'm begging you." I said looking into her eyes, putting my hands on her shoulders, pushing her away slightly. "M-Maya.." She said sadly, looking at me with puppy dog eyes. "Riley please, you can't fix everything I'm going through. Just let me be alone." I tried to persuade her. "But Maya-" I stop her by putting my hand over her mouth. "No." I don't take my hand away from her mouth. I feel her lick my hand, causing me to quickly pull it away. "What the heck?!?!" I yelled angrily at her. She rolls her eyes as she crosses her arms. "Oh calm down, you act like my tongue hasn't been in your mouth before." She said sarcastically. Hearing those words in the tone she said them made my eyes widen. "Riley!" I said shocked. "What? It's true." She said innocently. I sigh. "Yeah but that was like, in kindergarden though. That was two years ago." She smiles slightly as she wraps her arms around my neck. "Then why don't we do it a bit more recently." She said as she closed her eyes, kissing me gently. Her arms slowly make their way down to my waist, pulling my body to hers. She pulls away. "You're not kissing me back." She said sadly. "Why aren't you kissing me back?.." She asked with puppy dog eyes, pulling her arms away from me, taking a step back. I turn around as I look down. "Riley-" she quickly interrupts me. "Wait- are you.. Breaking up with me?!" She asked so distressed. My eyes widen. "Riley-.." I stop for a second, turning around to face her. "We're too young to date, Riles." I know I'm hurting her, but I don't want to chance someone else finding out about us. Especially her parents. They would never let us hang out again. "It's for our own good, Riley. I'm sorry." "Do you want to be with me?" She asked sternly. "Wha-" "just answer the question." I sigh. "I do, but-" she interrupts me once more. "But what? Why aren't you letting us be together if we both want to be together?" I close my eyes tightly. "BECAUSE IT WON'T LAST!" I blurted out as I quickly ran out of the room, not wanting to see her reaction. "Wha- MAYA!" She yelled as she chased me. I run out of the house, going to the back. "Maya!" I heard Riley. "Where are you?!" I heard her yell as I looked around the corner to see her about to run into a street. My eyes widen as she runs into the busy street. "RILEY!!!" I yelled as I ran to her as fast as I could, picking her up bridal style, running back. Before I knew it, we were in my room again. I was still holding Riley. I look down at her, she's stairing at me like she's inlove with me. I quickly put her down on my bed. "Riley, why did you do that?!" I asked sternly. She doesn't say anything. She just continues stairing at me lovingly. I sigh. "Riley." I say sternly. Nothing. "Riley!" I yelled. Still nothing. What the heck is going through this girl's head? I sigh as I sit down on the bed next to her. She just turns her head to continue stairing at me. I roll my eyes as I lean in and kiss her gently. She immedietly kisses back passionatly, wrapping her arms around my waist, her hands a little low. I quickly pull away. "Riley!" "What?" She asked innocently. "Your hands are too low there, Riles." After saying that, I see a blush quickly rise onto her face. "S-sorry.." She says looking down. I sigh. "It's alright.." A pause. "Maya," Riley starts, "yeah Riles?" "If we both want to be together why don't we? You say it won't last, but.. How do you know it wont?" I take a deep breath, placing my hand on her shoulder, looking into her eyes. "Because we're both still young. We don't know what love really is. And, eventually, we'll move on from eachother. Meet new people, have other crushes. I'm sorry, Riley, but it's for our own good. So we wont get hurt later." She sighs. "Fine.. But I am still staying here with you until your mom gets back." My eyes widen. "Oh no.." I mumble under my breath. "Uhh.." I start, "Riles," I take a deep breath. "My mom.. She isn't at work." I finally got the courage to say. "But you told me-" I quickly interrupt her. I look down. "I know what I said.. I just didn't want you to worry about me.." She lays her hand on my shoulder, looking into my eyes. "Maya, I love you.. I do worry about you." Knew it. "I just want you to be happy.." She said as she leaned closer to me, not breaking her gaze away from mine. A small smile makes its way onto my face. "You do make me happy.. Just everything about you makes me happy. I love you, Riley." She smiles wide as she tightly wraps her arms around me. "I love you too." She breaks away from the hug, "wait, where is your mom then?" Riley asked confused. I look down slightly. "I.. Don't actually know.. She was just, kinda'.. Taken away one day and they left me here. I don't know where she is." I explained. Riley looks at me sympathetically. "I don't want you to be alone.. Maybe you can come with me back home and stay with us for a while?.." Riley said in a hopeful tone. "Riley, your parents won't let me stay there with you." She looks at me confused. "Why not?" She asked in a confused tone. "Because your parents hate me! Everyone hates me!" I turn my attention onto the ground, tears slowly forming in my eyes, when I suddenly feel soft lips pressed against mine. "Maya," she starts, looking into my eyes, "I love you so much, Maya. I don't want you to think that I hate you.." Riley said sympathetically, leaning in closer to me, a smile slowly creeping onto her face. "Now let me prove it to you.." She said as she wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me passionatly. I roll my eyes, kissing back, I quickly close my eyes, wrapping my arms around her waist, pulling us closer together. She pulls away, going down to my neck, kissing it gently, causing me to jump slightly at the touch. She continues kissing my neck, she suddenly stops and starts sucking on my neck, causing me to moan slightly. "R-Riley.." I moan out slightly. She quickly takes my shirt off of me. My eyes widen. "R-Riley!" I stuttered out shocked. She looks down sadly. "Right.. I forgot.. I'm sorry.." She says sadly as I quickly put my shirt back on. "It's okay.. But you should probably leave.. Your parents are probably worried about you." I said, looking into her eyes. "But.. Maya.." She says sadly, looking at me with puppy dog eyes. "I'm sorry, Riles-" she quickly interrupts me. "I can still ask them!" She said determined as she ran out of my room, to the house phone. I let out a frustrated sigh as I facepalm. "Whatever.." I mumble under my breath, finally leaving my room, going to Riley only to hear her on the phone with her parents already. "Oh no.." I let slip out quietly. "So can she? Plllllleeeeaaaassssee!!!!" Riley begged to who ever is on the other line. "YAAYY!!!!" She yelled suddenly, catching me off guard, scaring me slightly. "Shoot Riles." She hangs up the phone, running to me, hugging me tightly. "R-Ri-Riley.. Ca-can't.. Breath.." I choaked out, she quickly pulls away, looking down. "S-sorry.." But she quickly perks up again, a wide smile plastered on her face. "You can come with me! You can stay with me!!!!" She said excitedly as she grabbed my hands, quickly kissing me gently. I kiss back gently. "So, are they going to come pick us up?" I asked. "Oh.." Her happiness quickly fades. "I can call them back to tell them to-" I interrupt her, "no.. You don't have to.. We can walk." She's opens her mouth, about to object, but soon closes it, not saying anything. "Lets go." I say as I walk past her, to the front door. "Wait!" She yells to me like I'm not in the same room with her. I facepalm as I sigh. "What is it now?" I ask with a hint of annoyance in my tone. "I don't want to go back home yet.." She spoke quietly, looking down slightly. "Why not?" "Because I want to be alone with you.." She said bashfully. I take a deep breath. "Alright." I say as I walk back to my room, sitting on my bed. Riley comes and sits down next to me, grabbing my hand, interlocking our fingers together. I look down at the ground, thinking. Just.. Thinking. "Riley.." I start, getting her attention. "Yeah?" "Why do you like me?" I didn't remove my gaze from the ground. "Well because-.." She quickly stops what she was saying like she didn't know why. Of course she doesn't know why. "I'm sorry but I do-" I interrupt her. "You don't know why. Just- why don't you go home. Leave me alone. You lead me on, being my girlfriend, when, in reality, you're just doing it to make me happy. I'm not shocked. Why don't you just leave? It's over, Riley." She lets go of my hand. "But May-" "no. Jus-just go." I point to the door, not looking at her, already knowing she's crying. I can hear her trying to hold it back as she talks. "Okay.. B-bye.." She said sadly as she slowly left my room, closing the door behind her. "FINE! I DON'T NEED YOU THEN!" She yelled before I heard the front door slam shut. A couple minutes pass before I calm down. My eyes suddenly widen as tears quickly form in my eyes. "Oh no.. What did I just do.." Tears quickly start streaming down my face. "WHAT DID I FU-" I quickly stop myself from cussing. I know Riley's not around, but I still shouldn't cuss. I completely break down, laying face down on my bed, crying into my pillow. "N-no!" I quickly stop myself from crying, getting up from my tear soaked pillow. I wipe the tears away from my eyes and face. I sit up on my bed, taking a deep breath. I lay my hand on my bed, only to feel a stuffed animal. I pick it up to look at it, my heart immediately breaks. It's a small stuffed monkey Riley gave to me on my 9th birthday. Tears start to form in my eyes again, but I hold them back as I take a deep sigh. "I am alone. Why did I ever think otherwise? I'll be alone forever." I get off of my bed, slowly walking over to my desk, not letting go of the stuffed monkey. "I'M ALONE AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!!" I throw it at my wall as hard as I can, hearing it make a quiet thud as it hits the wall. I begin breathing hard from my anger. "I can't believe that I let the only one who cared about me go. She probably doesn't even want anything to do with me anymore. And it's my freakin' fault. BECAUSE I'M AN IDIOT!!!!"