My Mate Severus (18+)

Garden box

Y/n pov:

      I'd been secretly growing plants in a raised garden box for Severus. It was only a month until the big day now, and I was nearly done school. What would I do next....Severus told me I had time to decide. Time to try things and read books and practice magic. I wanted to take a year to truly discover everything I found about my new magic. I'd been practicing conjuring life....we knew we would be able to some day but even conjuring a new leaf on a vine made me faint. I had managed to do it once before but the energy that drained from me was scary....I'd never told Severus how I'd fallen ill that day. I stumbled into our bedroom looking pale and he dropped his tea cup and rushed to aid me. He hadn't let me go to classes the next day or day after that..but a week later I'd continued to practice that magic....

     I stared down at the garden box. It was in the herbology club meeting room, and everyone knew to leave it alone. Molly had helped me build it and then I'd painted it with the special paints Sev gave me for Christmas. Every time I used those paints I'd created something incredible...something that evoked strong emotions from the viewers. I believed that if I used them to paint the outside of the box the plants would grow better.

      Molly didn't ask too many questions about me and Severuss bond but I think she knew my abilities were different than the average witch. I often caught her looking at my silver hair and eyelashes. She helped me go through our potions textbook and pick out the plants that would grow best together and he would use most. When she left for her afternoon class I had the room to myself, and that was when I'd practice. I stood over the soil and rested my hands gently on the rich soil. I reached out to the magic that swelled restlessly inside of me and imagined it going through my arms and into the dirt below my hands. I concentrated on not letting it all out at once like I had the month before. I thought of the magic like a faucet, I turned the handle gently to release a little at a time. I felt myself sweating, it was still so hard. It made me angry. Nothing had been this difficult for me to learn. I was gifted...I was a star student, head girl...how could I not get this. It's been fucking months. I felt myself getting angry, so angry....all of a sudden something snapped inside of me and I slammed my fist against the clubs storage cabinet. I flew back and hit the wall behind me hard, i was seeing stars and Just laid there for a while to recollect myself. I pushed myself up off the ground and was shocked to see that the cabinet is hit my hand against had crumbled into nothing but dust...."fuck.." I looked over at the still intact garden box and gasped when I saw tiny little buds poking up through the dirt where my other hand had still been when I struck the cabinet.

       I grabbed my things and ran away from the gardens. I was scared of myself. After the initial shock of what had happened I realized how hurt I was. I'd hit the wall hard, and my shoulder didn't feel right. My hands were also stinging, and when I looked down at them I started to cry. How the fuck would I explain this to my mate. My hands were smoking, and what looked like lightning strikes were burned into them. The scars were closing quickly though...fading fast. Maybe by the time I got there those burns would be gone. I ran up the stairs to our chamber and ran in to tell my mate what had happened. I had to tell him what I'd been doing.

     Severus was reading in his favourite chair when I walked in. I remained silent and waited for him to put down his book and survey the damages himself. As soon as he looked up I saw the blood drain from his face. I guess I looked a lot worse than I originally thought.

     "Y/n..." he rushed over and ushered me to the couch. "You...you can't keep doing this. I know what you are doing darling...you forget that this magic is ours...I can feel you reaching in...oh dearest..." he had floated over a damp warm cloth and was gently dabbing the dirt off of my face. He was so much better at this than I was. I felt so stupid...of course he could feel me trying to use the magic...it was the fucking thing that connected us. I started to sob...I felt like an idiotic child...it was so embarrassing.

Severus POV:

    Y/n had hit a low point. I could feel her pain and it cut like the sharpest of knives straight to me heart. The stress of the wedding...the feeling that she wasn't figuring out how to use our magic fast enough. I knew it had been weighing on her and I felt like the worst mate in the world. We simply had not been communicating enough and I blamed myself. I gently pulled her into my arms and rocked her while kissing the side of her head. "Dearest...it's okay. I'm not mad I just worry about you, and I'm sorry that I did not bring this up to you sooner...I'm so sorry. We need to talk about this more. We have been so busy with all this wedding planning and school wrapping up. I promise this won't happen again. When you almost drained yourself last month I...I...I was so scared, and then when I felt you trying to use it again I should have put a stop to it, but I know you y/n. You're so stubborn and wild. I love that about you and I didn't want to take away your freedom so I let you keep trying, but it's too dangerous. We need to talk about this and figure it out together. Promise me...promise you won't use it again. Not without me. I will help you figure this out...We will figure it out together." I hoped she got something out of my anxious ramblings. I had much more of a handle on our powers than she did and I suspected it was driving her to act out. As I held her I was slowly healing her bruises and torn shoulder muscle. She nodded her head after contemplating my words for a few moments. "I love you y/n" I whispered. She snuggled up against me and I carried her to our bed chambers. We laid together and I just kept holding her. She would be fully healed in an hour, and then I had a plan that would make her feel a whole lot better.