The Art of Starting Over

Chapter 26 - Don't Lose Sleep

"And you are being a pain in the ass!" I retort loudly. "And you can't park here!" 

"Watch your tongue."

"Don't tell me what to-"

He steps out of the car, cutting me off, and walks over to my side. I open the door quickly before he has the chance to do it himself and make sure to slam it shut behind me. After a few angry paces, I remember my bag is still in the back seat. I turn back just in time to see him getting it himself. He locks the car and flings my bag at me as he walks past me and up the steps. Suppressing the urge to scream in frustration, I seriously consider throwing the bag at the back of his head.

Instead, I hurry up the steps, not wanting him to beat me to the door of my own house. I step in between him and the front door and turn towards him, my nose inches away from his chest. He looks down at me cocking one eyebrow.

"I am not going! Not on Monday!" I say stubbornly.

He holds my gaze for a moment, not moving a muscle except for the almost imperceptible tightening of his jaw. 

"We'll see," he growls finally.

I stare back at him for two whole seconds before I open the front door. "Nanna! Did you find a big, fat nose in my business? Jeremy's here to get it back!" I call out angrily as I storm up the stairs wanting to get as far away from him as possible.

I head straight into the shower and turn on the cold water hoping it will cool me down. I take a series of deep, steady breaths to release the fiery knot that has formed in my stomach. I focus on the water, steadily dripping on my face and shoulders. I focus on it until it drowns out the sound of his low, rumbling voice coming from downstairs. I hear Nanna Millie's sweet laugh, her treble in perfect contrast to his base. 

I screw my eyes shut but I still see his face clearly. His jaw clenched and stubborn. His eyes blue and cold beneath his dark, long eyelashes. His lips soft against my skin.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit!

I breathe out again, releasing my fists and leaning against the wall, the tiles cool against my back.

He's bad news. He's a player.

He's going to crush you.

I won't let him.

"I can't let him," I whisper to myself as I scrub my skin thoroughly trying to get his scent off me.

I stay under the running water for another five minutes.

#

When I finally go back downstairs, Millie and Jeremy are chatting amicably over a cup of coffee. The window is open and the yellow curtain is flowing over the kitchen sink. The radio is switched off, but Carmen seems to be giving a concert next door. We all smile, a little bit impressed, as the woman belts the high notes of Tammy Wynette and almost makes it.

"Dinner's almost ready," Millie announces holding back a little snicker. "And don't worry about Monday, honey, we can catch the nine o'clock movie instead. I'm not working the next day, so it's really not a problem. I'm so glad you're finally doing this, Ally."

I narrow my eyes and turn on Jeremy. "You! How old are you? Seven? Why are you getting her involved in this?"

His mouth forms a tight smile and he says, "I thought I'd take care of it for you. I don't want you losing any sleep over it."

Oh, well played Cordina.

"You are unbelievable! I can't... You're so..." I open and close my mouth several times, but nothing comes out. My rage has rendered me speechless. Thank God for Nanna Millie, whose eyes go wide and quickly grabs the cups, still half-full of hot coffee, and carries them away to safe territory. 

Jeremy however bravely stands up and walks towards me until he is inches from me once again. But this time I stand my ground, refusing to be intimidated by his height and confidence and his wonderful, honey-whiskey-woodsy scent...

"Ally," he says his voice low but livid. "For once in your life, can you please stop being your proud, stubborn self and just say thank you?"

"Thank you?" I ask unfazed. "You want me to thank you?"

"Yes!" he says raising his voice noticeably. This silences me. We've had our arguments but he's never raised his voice before. He barely ever shows any emotion. "All you need to finally do something with your life, something which you yourself say that you want, is a little push and as far as I'm concerned, that is exactly what I'm giving you. But you'd rather be a victim of circumstance with nothing but a dream in the air. You'll find any excuse not to leave your safe zone!"

I open my mouth to protest but he holds a hand to my lips before I can make a sound. "Just go to the damn lesson, Ally! Be at this address on Monday at five p.m." He takes a small, folded paper out of his pocket and holds it out to me, his gaze pinning me to the ground. The blue of his eyes is anything but icy now. There is a fire in them I have never seen before.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

I tear my eyes away from him, slowly take the paper from his hand and open it.

"St Julian's? What? You couldn't find a tutor that's further away? Mellieħa, maybe? Gozo?"

He raises an eyebrow at me. I shut my mouth and put the address in my pocket, unable to stop my eyes from rolling to the back of my skull.

"Once you're there, don't forget to schedule a date for your Philosophy lesson as well. And don't roll your eyes at me. It's rude," he snaps.

But I see the corners of his mouth twitch a little as Millie pats him on the shoulders, impressed that he managed to get his way. Then she turns to the oven and takes out a heavenly salmon roast.

"Right," she exclaims proudly setting the dish on the chopping board. "Now that that's sorted, let's eat!"