lost the losers - richie tozier angst.

it has to be done.

and with a scream, richie startled awake, panting like crazy. eddie jumped, his eyes widening. he put his phone down and reached his hands out to richie.

"woah richie, what—"

richie yelped and stared into the boy's eyes. "eddie?!"

"y-yeah..?"

"fuck. fuck! it was all just a dream, please tell me it was all a dream," richie sobbed, flying at eddie as he wrapped his arms around the boy and hugged him, sobbing into his shoulder.

"y-.. yeah. i-it was.. just a dream," eddie mumbled, rubbing richie's back. "hey, breathe. calm down."

richie pulled away and immediately kissed eddie, who kissed back as he started to slowly place his arms on richie's shoulders and connect his own hands. richie pulled away and stayed close to eddie's face.

"i thought i lost you," he whispered. eddie shook his head.

"no, rich. i'm here," he answered, clueless.

richie pressed his lips against the other's once again and cupped eddie's cheeks as he did so. he wrapped an arm around eddie's waist and brought him closer as they made out, the tears in richie's eyes basically gone.

richie pulled away and hugged eddie as hard as he could, eyebrows furrowed to the roof. "i can't lose you."

"you won't."

"i can't. i can't lose you or the losers. please tell me it was all a nightmare."

"i.. it was, it was just a nightmare, love."

richie sighed and pulled out of the hug, staring eddie in the eyes. "please don't leave me."

"i wouldn't, richie," said eddie, who was piecing everything together. "w-what'd you dream about?"

"that.. you guys all hated me.. again. like.. bad. and.. in the end i got killed by a car that my father drove," richie explained. eddie's eyes widened.

"you dreamed of your own father running you over?!"

"yup."

"jesus! that's awful!"

"so is he."

"i'm so sorry, rich. and.. we could never hate you. we love you." richie nodded.

"i guess i'm just really scared of losing you guys again. it really sucked last time. like, seriously sucked."

"i know, and i'm so sorry. i promise, it won't happen again."

richie smiled. "okay.." he mumbled and cleared his throat. "um.. do you think we could hang out with the losers later..?"

eddie froze. "i.. can ask?"

"okay," richie breathed. "i'm gonna go to the bathroom."

eddie nodded and watched richie leave, immediately grabbing his phone again.

secret

special ed: guys

#1 agent bev: eddie where are you where'd you go

special ed: home
special ed: but i need you all to listen and to read this message

#1 agent bev: uh okay, if they don't see it i'll announce whatever it is at lunch

special ed: thank you, bev
special ed: okay so after we yelled at richie for texting those awful things, he ran away from school and tried to.. attempt. mike found him and helped him, and then apparently, they found out it was henry's fault behind the texts, and then henry dropped richie's phone into the lake. mike doesn't lie, especially not to friends, and he said the same thing that richie did. richie got drunk and almost was killed again and so i brought him to my house and here we are. he started crying because he thought that us being mad at him was a dream and he didn't want to lose us again. so, in conclusion, it wasn't richie. it was fucking bowers.

#1 agent bev: WHAT.
#1 agent bev: HOLD ON WHAT THE FUCK

special ed: yeah.

#1 agent bev: FUCK! I SAID AWFUL THINGS TO HIM-
#1 agent bev: shit i feel horrible :/

special ed: he think it was a dream and wants to hang out later

#1 agent bev: i told him to kill himself and he actually fucking tried
#1 agent bev: now im like over here crying

special ed: dont cry, bev. he's gonna be okay. he's okay rn

#1 agent bev: where is he???

special ed: bathroom

#1 agent bev: .. check on him. now.

special ed: bev i dont think he would

#1 agent bev: CHECK ON HIM

special ed: fuck

eddie felt his heart skip a beat as he slammed his phone down and ran out of his room, finding the hall bathroom and knocking quickly.

"richie?!" he yelled. no response. eddie quickly rushed in, but no body was in there.

"what are you doing..?" richie asked from behind eddie, who yelped and jumped.

"jesus!" eddie sighed, cupping a hand over his heart. "you scared me!" eddie walked up to richie and hugged him hard, who hugged back, exhausted. he pulled away and stared into richie's eyes with sorrow. "are you okay?"

"yeah," richie lied.

"no you're not."

"yeah."

"what's wrong?"

"your mother isn't here."

eddie sighed. "okay. don't mess around like that when you tried to kill yourself twice, richie."

"how do you know about the first time?" he asked. eddie's face dropped.

"i.. you.." he uttered, realizing that richie didn't remember the second time due to being drunk. he couldn't have. so, was there another time that eddie didn't know about. "when."

"few months ago," richie admitted with a shrug. eddie's bottom lip quivered and he blinked back tears.

"why..?"

"just.. a lot was going on. the abuse was.. bad. like.. BAD bad."

"you're never going back there."

"i don't want to."

"and.. and i'm calling the police. and.. w-we could have the denbroughs adopt you."

"i.. eddie.." richie mumbled.

"it has to be done," eddie whispered, shaking his head. richie felt tears form in his eyes and he nodded.

"okay.."

"don't cry, rich." richie sniffed and wiped his eyes.

"it's just a lot."

"i know, i know how hard this will be. but i'm here. forever and always, remember?"

richie smiled shakily. "yeah. forever and always."

eddie smiled and kissed richie, who kissed back weakly as he hugged eddie's waist.