Fateful beginning of vacations

Chapter 14: Who am I and if so how many?

Sandra was still staring into the bag and looked like Lod's wife, frozen to a pillar of salt. Sarah also looked at the picture as if frozen and waited for a corresponding reaction. From whoever and when the ground would split and lava would run out of the crevices. Something should happen before Sandra came back to her senses. Nothing happened. Sarah felt incapable of uttering even a sound.

It was finally Sandra who first broke free of her torpor and said only, "That's right, Sarah, there's nothing in that bag but junk. Nothing great."

As that was to be Sandra's whole reaction to what she had seen in the bag. Sandra moved back to her original seat.

Sarah also broke free from her torpor. She had the feeling that she was shaking all over her body after the tension had fallen off her. She dropped into her chair and rummaged again for her cigarettes. With shaky hands like when she closed her first diaper last night, she lit them and inhaled a few puffs. Sandra broke the silence again.

"Well, you two, I have to go too, I wanted to do some shopping." She rose and was about to leave when Sarah tried to stop her. "Hey Sandra. Wait a minute. I wanted to clear something with you." she said.

"Sorry no time for more talk. Maybe we should talk on the phone or something later. I'll just put the money for my coffee on the table then I'm gone." she said, put the money on the table and disappeared into the slowly dissolving crowd.

Sarah looked at the clock. It was 5:00 p.m. by now. It was time to go home. There she would first ask Kathi what the action with Sandra was about.

Sarah paid for the coffee and Kathi and Sarah went on their way to Sarah's home. A good half hour later they arrived there. Sarah unlocked the door. After Kathi was in the house, she was about to start, but was fobbed off by Kathi with a simple "In a minute". Thereupon she disappeared to the upper floor. Probably into the guest room, Sarah thought. She still couldn't understand her cousin's action and still felt like wringing her neck. Kathi had left the bag with the Abriforms next to the front door. Sarah looked at it briefly. She inwardly felt like putting the package on the kitchen table, looking at it for a while, tearing it open and looking at one of the diapers. She rejected this thought, but quickly again. First she wanted to confront Kathi. She could think about it later.

She looked in the basement to see if her mother was home. Her car had been parked in the driveway when she came home with Kathi, but her mother was nowhere to be seen. She finally sat down in the kitchen and waited. Waited for Kathi to finally confront her. She had to pull herself together not to rush out, tear open the door of the guest room and attack her. Above all, the thought came to her at the same time why she should go after her at all. What had she actually done to her? Actually nothing. She had actually only behaved incredibly stupidly or just played damn stupidly. But Kathi had done nothing to her. At least nothing that harmed her. Whether it was great for Kathi, Sarah didn't know and didn't want to think about it. She lay down on the kitchen bench and closed her eyes. To let the whole thing go through her head again helped to get rid of unjustified aggression. The downside, by losing her supposed focus on Kathi's action with bag, her mind games came back too. The very fact that she was questioning Kathy's action showed that she would probably eventually end up back on the subject of diapers. Was this what she wanted? Was she controlling this consciously or even subconsciously? Did this one experience from last night have such an immense effect on her and such a big impact. Maybe it was just fatigue and she was trying to keep awake convulsively and wanted to do so with the most outlandish thoughts she could think of. She noticed increasingly how thinking became more difficult as the evening drew nearer. Sarah put her hands under her head and made herself as comfortable as she could on the bench.

Sarah heard the key turn in the lock and startled. She looked at the clock 20.00? Had she slept that long? Why hadn't Kathi woken her up? The front door opened and Sarah heard footsteps. She sat up. Her head seemed heavy as after a night of drinking. Sarah put her elbow on the table and propped her head up in her hand. She uttered a pained "Hello." No answer was heard. The door had closed again in the meantime. The footsteps heard earlier came closer. Sarah thought it must be her mother, who had not heard her, and continued to stand in the kitchen with her head resting on her arm and her eyes closed. Why did she feel so miserable. She hadn't had a sip of alcohol and her health had been wonderful just two hours ago. The footsteps had reached the kitchen. Sarah looked up briefly and was surprised to see her father.