~Killer Queen~ south Park X Oc

~Fungus~

TW: SELF HARM AND ANGST

Marie sat alone that Monday morning eating her apple oatmeal. Nichole left before she had woken up and Theresa and William were at work. Another boring day was ahead of her. Regretful this meant her mind was allowed to run. And run it did.

The memories of the night her parents died filled her head. She was it clearly, her mother and father yelling and her and she screaming back at them. At the time she thought they were gaining up on her, now she thinks she was just a bully. A horrible, spoiled little girl who deserved to be in the car when the gas pump blew up.

Instead, it was her parents. The only people that she knew loved her. The fight was over a damn boy, a boy was the reason why she screamed at her mother and father cursing their death.

Marie felt her body go hot, and tears burned her eyes, though she did not allow them to fall. No. She doesnt deserve that relief. She allowed herself to selfishly cry on that first night, but not today. Not ever again. She doesnt deserve it. Crying is only for those who are good. And she is not good.

No. She's the worst type of evil. A murder in her own mind. To her, she was no better than the boy that killed his father and fed his brother the body of both his parents. She should be rotting away in a cell right now never to see the light of day again.

Slowly Marie rose from her seat and walked over to the stove. On the left burner was the pot of oatmeal, still steaming. She removed the pot and turned the stove on high. She watched as the coil turned a bright orange, she timidly raised her arm and outstretched her fingers. Just before she could touch it she pulled away cursing herself.

Look at her wallowing in self-pity. Little murderess bitch. She turned off the stove and whammed her fist into her thigh. Over and over again she hit attempting to cause herself some pain. Tears pricked at her eyes. Not from sadness but from frustration. Why? Why did this have to happen? It's not fair.

It's what she deserves.

Humbled.

Grieving over those she has no right to grieve over.

Alone.

It's what she deserves.

Pain shot through her body as she grabbed onto the coil. The smell was horrendous. It's what she deserves. She pried her hand off the coil, her poor skin red and cracked. "FUCK!" She yelled gripping onto her wrist.

Quickly she ran over to the sink and ran cold water over her burning hand. More pain shoots through her as the cold water did its job. She grabbed up the mango-scented hand soap that Theresha loved so very much and scrubbed it into her wounds, she was unsure if that would help or make it worse. It's what she deserves.

Scrubbing the soap into the wound hurt like a bitch but it had to be done. How could she be so dumb? Once the pain somewhat stopped she went up to Nicholes's bathroom and grabbed her cocoa butter Vaseline. She coated the burned hand in the oil and wrapped it in an old tea towel. She prayed that Theresa won't be mad. Why had she done this?

Should she apply Neosporin to it? No. Her mother said never to do that. What about some alo? That was good for sunburns but not open wounds right?

The thought of what her mother would have done made her sob. Here she was again crying over someone she had no right to. It after all was her fault. They'd still be here if it wasn't for her. She made them so mad that they were on their way to dinner without her.

The image of her father's red face, as he screamed at her, flashed through her face. She could feel his large hands on her shoulders as he shook her, yelling at her to calm down. She didn't. And now he's dead. How could she be so dumb? So selfish. So evil. So spoiled. This is her fault.

Sulkently Marie walked back to the room that she didnt deserve. She deserved to be dead. She flung herself onto the cot that she shouldnt have. She should be burned to dust to be thrown away like Sinopa and Louis Gray. She pulled the cover over her head. She should be covered in the dirt left to feel the worms and fungus eat away at her bloated body.

These were the thoughts that entered filled her head as she drifted into a nightmares sleep.