Chapter 22: Roast

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The next day, Noah came to message me. Now I only knew that we still can message people even if we don't follow them.

"Hellooo," he said.
It was around three thirty in the afternoon.

I rolled my eyes, what game is he playing now?

I ignored his message and continued to study till five thirty. I thought of him again. I went to check my phone.

"Hello," I replied.
"Hello."

"What was wrong with you yesterday?" I asked.
"Nothing."
"Do you still need me as a friend? I can stop talking to you."

He didn't reply.

"I'll take that as a no."
"Ok, people see what they want to see. Sure, why not? Every day is a new adventure," Noah replied.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean exactly what I mean."
"And excuse me, I don't know what you mean."
"I accept your excuse."

"So?" I asked, "Yes or no?"
"You decide, in good with everything," he said, "This conversation is stupid."

"I feel so stupid," Noah continued, "If you want, just stay. If you don't, just leave. Leave."
"I want a determined answer, from you."
"The thing is, I'm always here, always. You have to decide, I'm always here."

My eyes filled with tears, and I said something that I wanted to ask him, "The unfollowing thing yesterday, just made my heart go cold."

"Yeah, duh, that's the point," Noah said. I was shocked by what he said. "I was pissed off," he continued, "So I pissed you off."

Anger raged through my mind, "So now you come back? For what?"

"I didn't come back, I'm always here," he said, "I fucked you up, but I'm still here."
"You ended the friendship, now you come back and follow me again?"
"I never ended anything," Noah replied, "I just wanted to piss you off, now we're even- Nevermind, yea."

"Fun fact is, I was never pissed."
"Hah, like I said, your heart is cold."
"I was laughing when you followed me back."
"That's already satisfactory for me," he said, "I'll take that as a win for me."

"Want to listen to a story?" I asked.
"Yep, go on."
"I once dated a joke, now the joke is trying to piss me off. Isn't the story funny? What do you say, joke?"

That's a line Luke taught me. He was just bored and told me this.

"Hah, I know," Noah said, "I get that a lot, I know I'm funny." "If my heart is cold, why did I even date you?" I asked him.

"'Cause you aren't that cold that time, now you're just, a different person, you changed. Now you're someone else, something else," he answered.

I used to receive these messages a lot four or three years ago. But I felt kind of sad and weird when Noah said that to me, especially when he's the one you love the most.

"Yeah, I guess," I said, "'Cause the joke makes me put on someone else's mask."

Noah typed for a long time.
"I guess so, well done. This shows how much the Joke influences you, and now you left the Joke all alone. The Joke now, is a total joke, that lives every day."

"The Joke let me know that perfect love doesn't exist!" I was lying. Yeah, I was.

"No," Noah said, "You made yourself do this, with your overthinking. You did all this to yourself, now stop blaming people. It's your fault, everything is your fault."

I mean, he's not wrong. It is my fault.

"Haha, if it was my fault. The first thing you did was, tell Amy what happened between us. So funny right? But not trying to ask me, for the reason, why we broke up," I slowly got out of control bit by bit while I typed the message out.

"Let me tell you," I continued, "Yes, you're right. I do overthink, a lot, more than normal people. You know it, you know I overthink. But instead of solving the problem by telling me what you think, you told Amy, that's disappointed me a lot, okay?"

Noah has seen all the messages but didn't reply. I pressed his profile and clicked the block button. For the first time, I finally managed to block him.

It was like knives poking my heart.

But honestly, this is the greatest roast I ever did on someone. I never think that I'll be doing it on Noah.

I hope I don't press the unblock button.

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