𓈊 Petal's Diary

Entry #38

TWs: mention of sex/sa, and physical abuse. Stay safe <33

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"for the last time, i never slept with anyone on the basketball team," i said, close to tears. zach and i were fighting during drama club the day i got back to school after refusing to go for the last two weeks. "i don't know who told you that, but i swear on my life it's not true-"

zach scoffed. "why should i believe you?" he demanded. "why should i believe anything you say when you probably leave every night to go 'hang out' with that Jimmy kid? i know you kissed him, you whore."

i groaned. "god, you're absolutely fucking ridiculous," i said, crossing my arms over my chest. "you know you're the only person on the team i've ever slept with, first of all, and practically every two out of three times it's not even my choice! and you want to talk cheating? let's talk cheating. where are all of your side bitches that you fuck every time you refuse to come to an event of mine? you can relax about one goddamn kiss if you're allowed to get away with sleeping with a new person every other night."

i'm proud of my past self for saying that

"you don't even like having sex with me!" zach argued.

"that's true."

"so what are you so upset about?"

i went silent for a moment, staring at Zach with tears threatening to spill from my eyes. "are you serious right now?" i asked quietly. "i don't even know what to say to you at this point. first of all, you're super fucking manipulative, and i'm sick of it. you're constantly accusing me of shit i've never done to make up for the fact that you're the untrustworthy one. you're nothing but cruel to me. and you're the most jealous person i've ever met." i couldn't help the sob that broke free. "i don't even know why i stick around you." i paused. "maybe i should cheat on you. maybe I should hook up with the entire fucking basketball team, because maybe that would be better than being with you." i scoffed when zach didn't respond. "i hate you."

"watch your mouth, cupcake," zach warned.

"oh, shut the fuck up," i snapped. "and quit calling me cupcake."

i watched in horror as zach turned around and started walking toward my tent. he was going to tell everyone.

"wait," i said before jogging after him. "zach, please wait-" i yelped and landed hard on the ground when zach shoved me.

"zach, please," i begged, getting up from the floor. "wait, i'm sorry-"

zach whirled around, looking ready to hit me. "you're only ever sorry when what i do affects you," he said lowly. he stepped forward and i stepped back. "i'm sick of your petty shit thinkin' you're better than me. you don't speak unless i say you can. you don't think unless i say you can. the only opinions you're allowed to have are mine."

i nodded frantically. "right, i'm sorry," he said. "i really am, i'll listen. i promise-" i stopped when he smiled at something behind me. "why are you smiling like that?" i asked cautiously.

zach shrugged, turning away. "no reason." he bent down and i gasped, latching onto him as he grabbed my bag.

"wait, zach, please!"