GOLDEN | maxiel

chapter 17

"Cause everybody wants something from me now
And I don't wanna let them down"

everything I wanted - Billie Eilish

-

It was the last race of the year and Max was super stressed. He absolutely had to win. It was crucial. There were three drivers with enough points to be able to win the World Championship. Max, Charles and Lewis. It was a tight season. Getting 2nd wouldn't be enough if Charles ended up winning. Therefore he couldn't go for anything less.

Jos knew that well and made sure to put pressure on his son to do well, thinking that would make him perform better, as it had in the past. Max always strived to do better, and a lot of that was because of his dad. So, yes, his father did push him to become good, but he also pushed him beyond that.

Max had never been so nervous about a race before. He couldn't sort his mind out. He had to win.

What would happen if I don't win? What would dad say? What would dad do? How humiliating would it be to lose the title? Am I gay? I am. No! Stop saying that. I like Daniel. As a friend! No, stop lying, you like him as more than a friend. What if someone knows? What if Daniel has told anyone? What if it came out that I had kissed another driver? What if the tabloids started to speculate? What if his dad found out? What if his sponsors found out and wouldn't have him anymore? What if he was kicked out of the team? AAAAAAAH!

Max started hyperventilating and he felt tears run down his face uncontrollably. He tried to force himself to regain control, but it just made him lose it even more. Max started hitting himself in the face where he was standing in the bathroom in front of a mirror.

Get it together!

He took three deep breaths and walked out. His whole face was read from the crying and the hitting, but nobody asked him. He just did what he had to do and got in the car.

-

Max was doing so well. He tried to completely zone out of the outside world, and just be present in the race. It worked very well for a long time. He was leading. He only had to overtake three drivers after a pit stop, but he was back in front. He took a couple of deep breaths as he felt stress build up in him again, only one lap left, he thought as he started the last lap with Charles one second behind him.

Charles had a slow start to the race, but he had driven very well and had been able to go all the way up to 2nd position. The five-second gap between Max and Charles had gotten smaller and smaller and Max was not feeling completely safe with Charles behind him.

He had held him behind for so long now, what was another lap?

I can do this, I can do this.

Charles was getting closer, but they had only one turn left before the finish line.

What if I lose?

Max started to lose control over himself again. He tried to breathe slowly and focus, but it didn't work. Charles was so close he went for the inner corner of the last turn.

I can't lose.

At that moment Max didn't think, he just acted. He turned the car in right when Charles tried for the inner corner.

What did I just do?

Charles was sent spinning into the wall at a fast speed. It looked bad. Max rolled through the finish line unable to celebrate as he was in complete shock as to what just happened.

"Is he okay?" he asked through the radio.

"We don't know, Max."

Max was completely silent.

"But congrats, you've won!"