Always and Forever

Chapter 1

Angrily, Mark trudged out of the hospital door. He didn't know what to feel or what to say. Tears rolled down his cheeks (they hadn't stopped since 20 minutes earlier when he heard the news for the first time). You could tell just by looking at Mark that it hadn't sunk in yet. He was simply in a state of shock. 

They say there are 3 stages of recovering from sad news. The first, of course, being sadness, depression and heartbreak. Those who haven't gone through sad news think this is the worst stage. Oh how wrong they are!

Stage 2: anger. 'Why me, why did this happen to me' and 'I don't deserve this' are common thoughts during this time. It's a painful era that can last anything from a few days to the rest of your life. But no, this again isn't the hardest part.

Stage 3: acceptance. This is by far the hardest stage. You have to accept that something happened, understand that there is nothing you can do about it and finally stop blaming yourself. You see, a lot of people blame themselves for things that are simply out of their control. Seriously, this is such a painful era that a lot of people make the mistake of not going through it.

Mark was at stage 0. It can take a long time to realise something has genuinely happened. He still didn't believe it; he still hoped it was a dream (or, well . . . a nightmare). It was raining, for some reason it always rained at sad moments in movies.

As if he cared about the weather, in fact, Mark hoped that a storm would strike and that he would be struck by lighting. That way he would be brought to the hospital. That way he would be brought closer to his wife. And why wouldn't he see her? What was so important that Jules' own husband couldn't see her?!

Deep down he knew what was so important. Deep down in the bottom of our brain. It's where humans like to keep information that can help us recover during the 3 stages. Got to be careful though, it's dark down there and sometimes you can lose things forever. Memories, gifts and emotions are all kept down there. 

Mark took a seat at the bus stop, the rain getting heavier. He was all alone on the street, accompanied only by the dim street lamps. It was getting quite late.

"Why me? Why me Lord? Tell me!!!," he called out in tears, "What did I do to deserve this? What did SHE do to deserve this?"

The red London bus pulled in and the doors opened. He tapped his oyster card and leaned against a pole in the middle of the bus (he didn't feel like sitting down). He sniffled and then brought out a tissue wiping it across his nose. Then he pulled out another for his tears. 

"Why me?" This time he whispered it almost pleadingly," Why Jules?"

Mark suddenly remembered that he had brought airpods with him. He fumbled around until he located the case in his back pocket. He whipped out the small white buds and stuck them in his ears while opening Spotify on his phone. He knew what he had to play. It was his and Jules' favourite song. Here with me by d4vd. The sad yet loving tune played over in his head making him cry. He pulled a picture of Jules out of his pocket singing along  to the final verse while thinking of her:

I don't care how long it takes as long as I'm with you I've got a smile on my face save your tears, it'll be okay you're here with me

Those last words made him cry as they were not true. She wasn't there with him. She was in the hospital on a bed, being told that she hadn't got long to live. He would give anything to hug her right then. Anything.

The bus came to a stop outside of their house. It had always been a nice home. They bought it when they first got married and moved in together. Back then, it looked so bright and colourful. Why then, did it look so dark and dreary now 6 years later?

Mark slid the key into the hole. It was quiet, peaceful and yet sad all at the same time. He dropped his bag to the floor. Just that morning they had been sitting at the kitchen table laughing and having breakfast, the cereal had been left out as they had to hurry for the appointment and screening with the doctors. 

He had no energy left in him, he simply slipped off his clothes and put on the TV. He watched family guy (Jules and Mark always used to watch that for a good laugh) but it wasn't so funny anymore. Nothing was. So he just lay there on the couch. No attempt at falling asleep. Just him alone with his thoughts. At about 2:00 AM (3 hours later) his phone went off. He picked it up.

"Now? It's urgent? I'm on my way tell her she's going to be fine!" Mark said over the phone.

*Hey everyone since you made it this far you may as well leave a vote and follow me it means a lot. New chapter Monday 1st May*