Star Side

Chapter 44

I followed them to a dispensary, where Naomi downloaded a simple protein based gruel usually used as some sort of breakfast cereal. She handed it to me before we headed off down the hall towards Josh's old plant lab.

I didn't wait to be invited. I pressed the door com button.

"Gilrack? It's me, Jo."

Quiet greeted us. Just as I feared the worst, a faint familiar warmth brushed against my thoughts.

I opened the door and stepped in. All I saw was a mass of leathery wings domed over a ball on blankets. It was just like when he'd been sick in the brig, except the coloring of his skin had paled to gray salmon.

I should have probably taken it slow, but I found myself rushing to his side, a bit of the gruel spilling on my thumb.

"Gilrack? Hey, buddy, let me see you. I brought you food."

The wings didn't so much as twitch. After a tense minute of rolling my bottom lip beneath my teeth and growing more alarmed, I dared to reach out and pull back a wing.

He had visibly thinned. Gone was the frightening muscles. Where his skin was purple, such as on his extremities and tail, had darkened, and the red had turned to salmon like his wings. He didn't seem to have the strength to lift his heavy horned head as his dull ocher eyes flickered open to look at me. A whispery low croon echoed in his throat and more warmth brushed against my mind, though his mouth didn't open.

"Has eaten or drunk anything since...?" I asked.

"Not that I know of. The cameras don't show anything," said Naomi.

"At least he feels sorry," grumbled Levi. It was the most sympathy Gilrack would ever get from him.

Something about the brush against my mind and the way he looked at me told me this wasn't just about guilt. There was despair in there, dark, heavy, and bland the taste of one's own spit in their mouth.

Something equally warm bubbled up in my chest in response to the touch of his thoughts. My eyes started to burn as I reached out to stroke Gilrack's hollowed cheek.

"Hey," I said, soft and aching. "I know you didn't mean to. You've done really well for being in a completely new world with new people who haven't exactly made you feel safe. You're away from all you know, and...and I freaked out too, but I know you didn't want to hurt me. You even stopped the moment you felt my fear."

His eyes had closed as I spoke and he'd moved his face as best he could in his weak state to press against my palm.

"You're okay, Gilrack. It's all okay. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left you like that."

I pulled away to rescue the spoon from drowning in the protein gruel and Gilrack gave a low whine.

"I'm not going anywhere, buddy. Can you open your mouth? You need to eat some."

His yellow eyes looked into mine for a long moment, pupils sluggishly tightening enough to focus on what he was seeing, before he opened his mouth, being visibly careful to hide his fangs. He probably worried I feared them now.

I smiled to reassure him then put the first spoonful in. It was awkward with him laying on his side, but he was a big enough creature to have a big enough mouth to catch all the gruel in his cheek and swallow it down.

"Taste alright?"

He didn't bother with human expressions, but sent me a thin line of so-so disgust.

"Well, if you want something better you got to get your stomach used to food again. Which means eating all of this." I held out another spoon.

He opened his mouth without complaint and swallowed it down. The feelings that brushed against my mind gave me the image of him prostrating himself on his back, neck bared in complete submission. I knew, in that moment, Gilrack would eat anything I gave him, even if it made him sick, which was a mite concerning. But Naomi knew enough of his biology by now to not give me anything that would do such.

"One bowl every three hours should probably do the trick," said Naomi from the doorway, sounding visibly relieved. "Sho, Lev, you're just going to stress him out."

"Stress him out?" he said in disbelief. "Fuck, woman, I'm the one that almost died."

"You said so yourself that you've survived worse, where's all that bravado now? What, you going to whine about your age again?"

"...Bitch."

"Jackass," but she said it fondly.

Then they left, leaving me alone for the first time in sixteen days with Gilrack, which surprised both of us.

I got a telepathic note of concern.

"I'm okay," I said, then added, "Well, you did scare me, but, well..." I put another spoonful into his mouth. "We're going to get over that. Kay? That's what friends do. They make up for offending each other, help them feel better when their upset, work through disagreements, all that jazz. And, well, we're still friends." Despite him wanting to be more.

He blinked very slowly. The yellow of his eyes seemed to be just a bit brighter.

"It's what makes relationships strong, you know. Working through scary things like this. What doesn't break the friendship makes it stronger and all that jazz. Good crap, you did a number on yourself. Is that hair? Did you lose some of your hair? Gilrack, what are you without your poofy mane?"

He gave me a weak smile.

"D-d-divine..." he croaked.

I knew I'd misheard. How I'd made out a word at all through his all rumble and gravel water-deprived voice was just my imagination.

"Don't do this again, yeah?"

He swallowed yet another spoonful of bland protein gruel.

"Yes."