nothing lasts - b.e

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I've been on the soccer team since freshman year and before that I'd been playing since I could basically walk, you'd expect me to be able to shoot a clean goal.

Apparently not.

I stared at the ball I'd kicked supposedly at the goal, narrowly miss someones head before flying off the pitch.

"One more chance Zira or I'll take you off the pitch!", Asteria yelled, my cheeks reddened slightly, humiliated by the sudden call out as if my shot at a goal wasn't already bad enough.

Asteria was basically the coach as our real coach doesn't know anything about soccer or how to assemble a team, so she stepped in, I love her to bits, she puts her heart and soul into this team and she's a great friend but sometimes I wished she'd keep her mouth shut to spare me the extra embarrassment.

In her defense, had it been anyone else missing the shot, they would've been replaced by a sub immediately, normally I could score a goal in my sleep if I wanted to.

But tonight, my legs felt like jelly and I couldn't concentrate on the ball or anything.

Maybe it was the fact we were playing against our school rivals, St Greggs, they were only a ten minute drive away but it felt like they were in another dimension, from what I'd seen when going to their school to play, they had everything we didn't, a large sports facility, half decent teachers, good food and a large group of sport supporters for all their games, they beat us in all there sports.. apart from football.

Well up until now at least, as I'm pretty sure me missing that goal gave them the upperhand they needed to secure a win.

It didn't help that female soccer was perhaps one of the least popular sports at our school, so our audience was only about half dozen compared to their one hundred.

But it wasn't just that.

Amyra Cole was here.

Not only was she an ex-teammate but she also just so happened to be my ex-girlfriend, I keep trying to pretend she's not here playing against me but my eyes keep drifting off in her direction.

It is it possible that she managed to look even hotter than before?

Amyra and I had met in second grade when she'd transferred to my elementary school and joined the soccer club, we became friends almost instantly, soccer was our thing.

We'd stay out after school at the park shooting goals and attempting different tricks and tackles and when we weren't playing we were talking non stop about any soccer we may have watched, everyone thought we were weird, but we didn't care, or at least I didn't.

Romantic feeling started to develop when we entered middle school, Amyra had come out to her family and they were so supportive, I had never thought about liking girls before that, but when I thought about it, the only girl I wanted to be with was her.

It wasn't until a party in 8th grade that we shared our first kiss, and she asked me to go out with her, of course I said yes, I felt so much warmth inside me at that moment and thought that nothing in the world could change how I felt about her or how she felt about me.

That lasted until freshman year, we both successfully made the soccer team and were happy together but that no longer seemed to be enough for amyra, she wanted to be somebody.

She was always looking for ways to put herself out there, gain some popularity and started to encourage me to do the same, I never understood it, I was content with it just being us, I didn't need anyone else's approval.

It shouldn't have took me by surprise when last semester she came up to me, acceptance letter in hand and explained she'd been accepted into St Greggs and that we could no longer be together despite it only being ten minutes away.

When I think back to it now, the signs of her losing interest in me were crystal clear, if anything the last few months we were together she seemed embarrassed to be around me.

"Zira focus!" Asteria yelled, as I was snapped out of my thoughts to see Amyra running straight past me, the ball under her control as she defended it from others with ease.

I tried to run after her but it was too late, she shot and scored the goal within a matter of seconds, her new teammates running up to her, praising her, validating every reason why she chose to transfer in the first place.

The whistle blew for half time, I glanced over to see Amyra walking with her new crowd of friends to grab a drink.

"That girl didn't even move! She couldn't keep up with you!" I heard one of her teammates yell, to which amyra responded with a loud laugh.

I felt my cheeks burn with rage as I spun around completely.

That girl?

As if I was nothing but a fly that amyra had crushed under her foot, as if Amyra didn't even know who I was.

I was about to confront but I felt a hand hold my shoulder, potentially saving me from severe embarrassment.

"Don't", Asteria mumbled, "She's not worth your time"

"I know", I muttered.

"Do you?", she retorted, "Because I've been seeing a whole lot of gawking and not a lot of playing Zee"

"What do you expect me to do?" I answered back, "Pretend she doesn't exist?"

"Yes, at least until the game over", Asteria replied, shaking her head, "But you don't have to worry about that now, I'm putting you on the bench"

"What?!", I exclaimed, turning my body to face hers, my jaw dropping.

Yes she'd threatened to many times but never had she actually benched me.

"You heard me", She looked me dead in the eyes before sighing, "I love you Zira but there is no way I'm letting you play right now"

"For fucks sake", I mumured, scoffing slightly as i threw my hands up, kicking the mud on the floor with my boots as I made my way to the subs bench.

Im definitely holding a grudge about this.

To anyone, I must've looked like a toddler throwing a tantrum but I didn't care, I was petty and there was nothing anyone could do to change that.

As the second half kicked off, I didn't even bother watching, I knew we were going to lose and that my team would definitely blame me after and I couldn't bare to see Amyra score another goal.

I would've left if I didn't care about getting kicked off the team but I'd worked way too hard for this and I wasn't about to let my pettiness ruin it.

We ended up losing 6-1, and I could feel my teammates and supporters staring a whole into the side of my head as I skulked to the changing rooms, but before I could get there I felt my arm being tugged slightly causing me to turn.

It was Amyra.

"Hey..", She spoke sounding a little nervous, "Can we talk?"

I hesitated for a moment, staring at her, I wish I wasn't still so in love with her, she looked so beautiful.

Her hair pulled up into a high ponytail, her curls defined, her skin radiant, and her lips, so plump and kissable, god all I wanted to do was kiss—

"Zira?", Amyra's voice snapped me out my trance, "Are you okay?"

"Uh yeah", I responded awkwardly, "We can talk once ive changed, I'll meet you in the car park?"

She nodded with a small smile before walking away, there was no way I was ever getting over this girl.

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AUTHORS NOTE:

billie will be introduced next chapter:)

i hope you enjoyed