haikyuu oneshots

miya a. | always been you

"you can sit wherever you like." y/n spoke up from behind the counter. when she got there, atsumu didn't know. he had been so lost in the thought of her that he hadn't processed her walking away. pulling a stool from the far end of he counter, atsumu set it right in front of the coffee machine y/n was working on.

"i hope you're fine with a plain black coffee." she mumbled apologetically.

"don't worry about it, i walked in ten minutes before you close." he smiled and took the white cup from her hands. there was a moment of silence between the two but atsumu's inability to resist the sound of her voice didn't let it last long.

for what felt like hours the two conversed like the old friends that they were. they shared stories about what happened since the last time they talked, updated each other on their accomplishments––not that y/n needed it–– and what their families were up to. before they knew it the night had reached its peak and atsumu was insisting on walking y/n home.

it felt like a breath of fresh air to be in the presence of the woman he once considered his whole world but the pressure in his chest rose gradually as they started making their way to y/n's apartment. he knew that their time together was once again coming to an end but there were still so many things he had to say to her. so many things he wanted to do together.

"i'm sorry." atsumu wasn't sure what in the world possessed him to make him blurt the short phrase out so suddenly. all he knew was that it had been sitting in his mind from the moment they last saw each other and had been threatening to slip off his tongue the second he saw her again. and from the look on her face, he could tell y/n wasn't expecting it either.

"what for?" she hummed, putting on what he thought was the same brave face she had shown him five years prior.

"for everything." he sighed, this wasn't how he had planned his apology but it would have to do.

"don't worry about it, i'm glad everything worked out for you in the end." the smile on her face was honest for the most part but her eyes told atsumu everything he wanted to know. she was hurting and nothing had ever really been okay with her.

"but it didn't." atsumu wasn't sure why he didn't tell her directly. he knew she wasn't stupid, she knew exactly what he was apologizing for. maybe he was afraid of hurting her like he had done before. he was afraid that she had moved on and made a life that didn't include him. he was afraid of saying the wrong thing and losing her for good.

"then make it work out." y/n shrugged, "you've gotten this far, i doubt you wouldn't be able to get whatever it is that you want."

"you know how we always said that we wanted to live with no doubts and no regrets?" he changed the subject quickly and didn't let her respond before continuing, "i've been regretting some things these last couple of years."

"and what's that?" the rise and fall of her chest was quicker than it was before he said that and atsumu was hoping he hadn't screwed everything up again.

"you."

"what?" y/n took a step back, creating a good amount of distance between the two. they had stopped walking a while ago, when the conversation had turned too serious to focus on which direction they were going.

"letting you has been the biggest mistake i have ever made, and you know i've made a lot of them." he took a calming breath before letting out everything he wanted to say since the moment he left. "what we had was unreal—in a good way— and i was a complete idiot to end it. i realized that the second you told me you were fine with us breaking up. to be honest, i don't know why i thought it would be a good idea. i knew that you pushed me to be the best version of myself and i knew that you would never hold me back but i still did it. i let myself come between us and i will regret that for the rest of my life."

there was a pause, a deafening silence between them that had his heart nearly jumping out of his throat. atsumu wished there was a way to listen to what was running through her mind and know that he hadn't made a complete fool out of himself.

"why are you saying this?" she almost sounded desperate, as if she was begging him to tell her what she wanted to hear.

"because i love you and i never stopped. all those years ago you told me you wanted an invitation to my wedding but in that moment i couldn't picture you going if you had anything other than a white dress on. i thought about you every day, wondering how things would be different if i hadn't said anything that night."

"if you knew it was a mistake, why didn't you tell me this before?" y/n whispered and atsumu saw the tear that she tried to hide when she lowered her head.

"i'm an idiot, that's why. at first it was my stupid pride, i didn't want to look desperate running back to you the day after we ended things. then when i finally got the balls to say something you had just gotten settled in and used to the college scene. i didn't want to mess anything up since you were doing so well. after a while i tried to call you but you never answered." he lifted his hand to wipe the tears that were starting to well up under her eyes.

"my phone was stolen my second year and i had to get a new number," she let out a humorless laugh at his revelation. "i was going to contact you to let you know but i saw that you were signed to a division one team and i didn't want to risk anything."

it was crazy for atsumu to consider all the moments they could've shared together if he had reached out and admitted his wrongdoings sooner. but it was all in the past now and all he could do is try to make things better for their future.

"well i'm here now and i still want you. i want to share my life with you the way it should've been this whole time. i love you and i swear that i will make this work if you want it too. so say the word and i'm yours. tell me you want to be with me, that you want to let me try again and fix what i broke. or you could say the word and i'm gone. you can tell me that you've moved on and you have someone waiting for you at home. you can say that you don't love me anymore. that's okay, i'll be okay as long as you can honestly tell me that he treats you the way you deserve to be treated."

another wave of silence passed briefly before atsumu lifted his hands to cradle her face gently between his palms and whispered, "tell me to let you go."

"i can't," she shook her head gently and held onto his wrists firmly. "i can't let you go, not again. i tried so hard to stop loving you but every time i watch you play, i fall in love all over again. for years i tried to move on but all i did was compare everyone else to you. it will always be you. the one i find my heart calling out to. no one has or will ever compare and i will never be able to forget who you are to me."

that was all it took for atsumu to close the remaining distance and place his lips onto hers. he was running on high levels of emotion, completely overwhelmed by the feeling of her body pressed against his. there were so many ways he imagined that moment to go but that by far surpassed all of his best expectations. it had taken five years but the love of his life still loved him and he would never again take that for granted. atsumu's muddled thoughts seemed to calm when y/n pulled away.

"i am going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you." atsumu leaned his forehead against her own and placed a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose.

"i'm going to hold you to that," she laughed, "just promise me you won't leave again? not like that."

"i promise. you and me, we're gonna be together for the rest of our very long lives."

"forever?" y/n questioned, caressing his cheek like he had done with her just moments before.

"and always."

—
i'm back! it's been a hot minute and this has been one crazy semester so i'm sorry for taking so long with this. i know in my last note this wasn't included in my 'up next' but i got a comment from someone saying they were interested in reading this so i posted it. i hope next time it won't take me so long lol

p.s. thank you all so much for 2k! i am so glad y'all have read these stories as many times as you have. i can only hope you've enjoyed them too.

p.p.s. i know i left them out on the street. i just didn't know how to move them without dragging the story along lol