Love in the Shadows (Book 2)

Chapter 22

Larson looks over at Steve, giving him a sympathetic glance. "Right now the best thing you can do is to make sure you take care of yourself so you can heal properly. After some time we'll run the tests again and see if there's improvement."

If...

"I'm going to give you two some time alone." Doctor Larson says, getting up and stepping away. She saw what was happening, what I was doing and what I was avoiding, and she wasn't going to let me continue to do it.

The room fills with silence once Larson is gone. My jaw trembles as I turn my head, suddenly feeling like the walls are closing in on me.

"Mia." Steve says again, his voice breaking. "Baby will you please look at me." he begs, and the agony in his voice finally breaks me.

I bring my hand up to my mouth to try and muffle the sobs. "I'm sorry."

"No."

"Oh god Steve I'm so sorry." I cry out, absolutely losing my control.

"Stop." Steve says, as he grabs my hand and pulls me from my seat. He guides me over and then sits me on his lap. I wrap my arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder. I feel him take in a shaky breath as his hand rubs up and down my back.

"Mia, you didn't do anything wrong. Look at me." He grabs onto my shoulder and pulls me back, putting his hands on my cheeks and forcing my gaze to his. "We are not giving up. You heard Doctor Larson, this doesn't mean it won't happen." I try to look down, but he brings my head back up. "But Mia, even if it never happened. This doesn't change how I feel about you. This doesn't change the future I want with you."

His words make me cry harder, because I feel like he's just saying this to comfort me. "But...I saw you with Esmond." I say, remembering the unfiltered joy he had on his face just at holding my nephew. To have his own child... "How can I deny you that?"

Steve shakes his head as he lets out a deep sigh. "Mia you're not denying me anything." he says, his hand brushing my hair from my face. "I need you to understand that, if it's just me and you for the rest of our lives, I would be perfectly happy with that. If this happens and we do end up having a baby together, I would be happy. If we decide to adopt instead I would be happy. If you wanted to live in a house filled with rescue dogs, I would be happy." I laugh, the first sign of hope peering through. Steve smiles when he sees me smile, wiping away my tears as he pulls my face closer to his. "I want a life with you. Anything that comes after that would be a grateful addition." He means that. Every word. He presses his forehead against mine, his thumb still wiping my tears. "As long as we're together, the rest doesn't matter."

The sound of the door opening and closing behind me pulls me back from the memory I was lost in. It's been two months since we got the news and even though I've been slowly adjusting to it, the anxiety and ache over it still comes and goes. I see Steve crouch down, taking a seat next to me on the same large rock I'm on. I turn, smiling at him as I slide my hand into his and shift myself closer to him, leaning my head on his shoulder. He turns and kisses my head before leaning his cheek on it.

We took our vacation. It took us a little longer considering we needed to take some time to recover from the fight. But eventually we made it out here.

Tony rented us a secluded beach house just like I wanted and Steve and I spent the past three weeks here together. It was just us, doing anything we wanted to. We slept in together as long as we wanted, we cooked whatever we wanted...well I cooked, Steve tried not to burn anything. We had sex...a lot...in every single room and surface of this place. There was hardly a moment that Steve and I weren't touching in one way or another. Cuddling on the couch, holding hands while we did literally anything, my head laying on his lap as I read a book, exchanging random kisses whenever we felt like it.