A Place Beyond The Horizon

12. THE NORTH STAR

Aidan wakes up to an empty house. He pulls on his shorts and heads out for a run, up to Santa Monica pier and then further on, leaving the crowds behind until there are only the occasional cyclists and runners like himself, exercising in the early morning light. The wind has blown itself out overnight, and the sea is like glass, the air fresh, and the sky a cloudless blue.

He knows that he has no claim to Mara, but he still feels jealous. Mara has spent the night with Andrew, and Aidan feels passed over. It's not the same as with Rosa, though. That had been entirely different; from Rosa he had felt entitled to... what? Loyalty? Respect? Theo's words are still ringing in his ears, the revelation that Rosa is struggling, the idea that Aidan is the only one who can help her. He's a long way up the beach now, and there's no-one around. He stops at a water fountain for a drink, looking back along the way he's come, at the dark finger of Santa Monica pier sticking out into the sea in the distance. He gets out his phone and before he can really think about it, he calls his wife.

"Morning," he says.

"Hey, Aidan, morning," Rosa replies.

"Wanna do video?"

"Nah, I look like shit. Let's just stick to voice."

"Rosa, you never look like shit."

He's slipped in a little complement, his voice light and friendly, but when Rosa replies it's in a dull monotone.

"Trust me."

Aidan diverts the conversation.

"I'm just out on a run and thought I'd give you a call."

"To check in?"

"To see what's up. How've you been?"

"Same."

There's a pause, but Rosa doesn't seem to feel the need to elaborate.

"So, what you got on today?" Aidan asks, instead.

"Uh, the usual stuff," Rosa replies, "Same as always."

Each question hits a dead end, and Aidan finds himself struggling to keep the flow going.

"How're you, though?"

"I said the same."

Aidan's getting nowhere, so he decides to change tack.

"Look, uh, I've been thinking about our last conversation. I'm sorry about the stuff with Davey. I hadn't meant to make that a big deal."

There is silence for a moment, then, "So, Davey isn't a big deal?"

Aidan finds himself gripping the phone tightly. The way Rosa says it, the combative inflection in her voice, it's pushing his buttons, just like she did when they were together, towards the end. It evokes the memory of them sitting together on the couch when she revealed that the IVF cycle hadn't worked, brushing it and him off, like nothing mattered.

"I didn't say that. Davey is a big deal. It's something we have to talk about."

"Not about your movie star?"

"Rosa, she's not my movie star."

"Like, what does that mean? Either you're fucking her or you aren't."

"What does that matter? We hang out, and we work together. But we're not together. Not like...."

"Davey?"

"Yeah, like that." Aidan pauses, knowing that he has to ask the question, dreading the answer. "Are you together?"

He hears Rosa sigh, and for a long while, there is silence on the line. When Rosa replies, her voice is flat.