The Heir of Night

26

"Do you have to?"

"Mmhmm," she hummed, sighing happily at the way his hands slid beneath the long shirt and held her bare waist.

"I have training, anyhow," Felix sighed, squeezing her thighs slightly before taking his hands from her. Theia smiled as she slid from his body and gathered her clothes from the floor. She pulled on the underwear and wool pants, then moved to pull his shirt from her body. "Don't, return it to me tonight when you leave the tavern," he stopped her.

Theia blushed and nodded, tucking her own shirt and brassiere into her arm. Felix stood, stretching before stepping forward and cupping her jaw. Theia grinned as he kissed her, and then pecked her cheek.

"I'll see you tonight," he whispered before pecking her lips again. She didn't realize he wanted to continue their night together, but her usual emptiness hadn't been so obvious while she was here. Theia nodded again. She dipped from his hand and left the room, glancing back at the door before she pulled her boots on. Theia forbade herself from turning back around and pulled the front door open, slipping outside.

It was still dark, only a hint of the sun waking from behind the horizon. Theia turned down the road, making her way back to her home to change. Few Illyrians flew above her in the dim morning light, and Theia couldn't help but wonder if Nyx was one of them. He had watched her leave with Felix last night, surely he knew who she was with.

Theia turned down the road to her home, trudging through the snow. She watched her breath turn to clouds and twist in the air in front of her, feeling that familiar sense of emptiness as she stepped closer to her home. Every step put a weight on her shoulders that was unbearable by the time she reached the door. With a deep inhale, she pushed it open.

Theia didn't know where to look first. For starters, there was no hole in her roof. The snow and debris had been removed from the floor. The dining table was standing and clean, the couch pulled from the hearth. There had even been a new bundle of wood placed beside the stone. She gawked at the cleanliness of the floor, the new chairs and table that had been placed in the sitting area.

Tears pricked her eyes, her clothes falling from her arm. She suspected who did this, but was reassured by the letter sat on the side table by the couch.

Theia,

I know you did not want my help with this, but it was the least I could do. Feyre brought clothes for you, they're in the closet of the smaller bedroom. The pantry has been stocked as well, but I couldn't get you any vegetables or meat in the time we had. We couldn't do anything about installing running water, but perhaps in the future. Nyx promised to walk you home tonight to see your reaction, be kind to him if you dislike it.

Best wishes,
Rhysand

Theia dropped the letter and covered her mouth, containing the sob that tried to escape. Even though she had told him she wanted to forget him and his family, the High Lord still fixed her home. They gave her clothes, cleaned the floors, provided her with food and firewood. This was a home she had never gotten to truly live in. This part of it, clean and kept, was how it looked before her sister died. It hadn't been this well maintained since Theia could hardly walk.

She reread the letter, pausing at the end. Nyx was meant to walk her home. Maybe that was why he stood in the alley, watching her leave with Felix. He was going to walk her home and present the work his father had done. Guilt tore through her, painfully so. She couldn't face him, not after ignoring him about this. She couldn't thank him, she couldn't see him.

As kind as it was, the reality of it slammed into Theia like a brick. She'd never lived in a silent, clean home; not this one. Not only was her mother gone, but it was everything she'd never known within these walls. Her hands trembled as she took a step forward, a mound of fabric catching her eye. Another blow to her heart.

Maia's blanket that she had been knitting for two years was folded on the couch. It had many colors, each one a new yarn ball she had replaced the other with. It was the only constant Maia ever had during her grief, the only one she cared about. Theia grabbed the blanket and brought it to her face. It was created with her mother's grief, and now soaked with her own.

The sun was rising and Calliope would kill Theia if she was late. She sucked in a breath, brushing her hair back from her face after dropping the blanket down. Responsibilities first, breakdown second. She marched to her bedroom, trying her best to ignore the bed that replaced her scratchy mattress on the floor. The closet was filled with fine clothing, including baskets of underclothes.

Theia swallowed her agony, promising to let it out another day. She stripped down, pulling on a clean undergarments, a fitted pair of pants, and a soft sweater. These clothes were something Feyre had handpicked, she could tell that entirely. She pulled on socks and grabbed one of the scratchy sacks tucked in the closet. Theia ignored her heart pounding as she shoved clothes into the bag, including Felix's shirt. She didn't want to come back, she didn't want to be alone.

When she was finished, Theia laced her boots and slammed the door of her home, praying she'd never be alone in it again. Maia's absence was too painful, and now that it was entirely different from what Theia had known, it wasn't her home anymore. Being in that house was a reminder of everything she'd lost, the effort she'd wasted, and the kindness of people she didn't deserve.

Theia hurried to the bakery, praying it would be busy enough to keep her mind occupied. It wasn't. Theia leaned against the counter and stared at the door, blinking out of her haze only when someone walked in. She fluttered through emotion after emotion, exhausted by the time Calliope called for closing. She threw the bag over her shoulder and marched to the tavern, cringing at the thought of having to face Elena. Surely she'd ask about Felix, about the bag she carried.

Indeed, Elena interrogated her about the male. Theia answered as plainly as she could, grateful when groups of trainees entered the tavern. Theia didn't speak as she served them. She avoided Elena as often as she could, but when the group was satisfied and nobody crowded the bar, Elena was on her.

"So? What did you do? Are you going again tonight?" The female bounced on her heels, grinning too widely.

"We didn't do much of anything, Elena. I slept over. Yes, I'm going back tonight," Theia grumbled, watching the female trainee in front of her.

"You went to a male's house and came back alive, obviously you did something," Elena pushed, nudging Theia's arm. Theia shot her a glare and stepped to the side.

"We didn't fuck, if that's what you're asking."

Elena's eyes widened. "I didn't- I mean, yes, that's what I was asking. I didn't expect you to use that word," she laughed, shaking her head. Theia gave her a pointed look.

"What? Fuck? It's a common word, Elena," she retorted, crossing her arms. Elena frowned, shrugging.

"Nevermind. It doesn't matter," she murmured, glancing at Theia once more before turning off to the customers. Theia didn't want to upset her only friend, but she hated the questions. She just wanted the day to be over, she wanted to climb into Felix's bed and lose herself like the night before.