Rather be a Lover than a Fighter

Chapter 5: The Commander

The way to the soldier's wing has been burned into the back of my mind, and I went through the corridors almost automatically. I did not like being here as a princess without my blades and the boyish clothes that did not restrict my movements. The heavy dress that flowed down to my ankles and the shoes that have not been made for running, made me feel vulnerable in this kind of environment. The second I entered the wing, I was hit by a strong smell from the Cafeteria, where the servants were probably busy making dinner for the hungry soldiers. The entire wing seemed to be buzzing with busy soldiers that were seemingly all going in different directions. Only then I realized, that I came at the time of a new shift, which was always the time it was the busiest around here. I should have waited for a little while longer, but since I have already entered the wing, it was too late to change my mind. The busy soldiers all bowed down as I passed them and cleared a path, knowing where I wanted to go. It felt weird having some of the people I fought beside multiple times bow to me, since we were all equals on the battlefield and not even skill gave you this kind of superiority. The general rule was that everyone needed to look after one another out there, since anything could happen no matter how skilled you were. Of course, I broke that rule, when I announced to everyone that I would only fight on my own from that day forward, so it was only natural they treated me differently. I knew that they did it out of respect rather than jealousy, though that did not make me feel any better, since it did not change the fact that I was different. It was one of the reasons I usually avoided coming here when it was busy, but it was too late now, so I just had to deal with it. The Commander's office was luckily right behind the Cafeteria, so I did not have to cross paths with any more soldiers than the ones I was facing currently. I slowly walked past all of them and suppressed the weird feeling it gave me, while staring at the door in front of me, to avoid looking seeing somebody I might recognize. The door was quickly opened and closed behind me, after I had fully entered the room.

"Long time no see", a familiar voice greeted me, "well I mean, that's what I would like to say, but since it's not true, welcome back, your Highness". I simply greeted the Commander with another one of my nods, with the only difference being that this one was a little quicker than usual. "Silent as ever, I see", he commented like always but left the issue undiscussed as he rose from behind his desk. Since I knew that he understood my reasons for not talking most of the time, I did not hold a grudge and simply ignored the comment. In the middle of the room was a big table, not higher than my waist, with a very detailed map of the entire country and I stood right at the edge, studying it. The Commander came towards the table as well and stood at the opposite edge, following my eyes to the area I was looking at. It was the field before the mountain range that I fought at earlier today, and that did not belong to the Carizon Kingdom, since I killed all the soldiers that were supposed to conquer that small piece of our land. The prince of that Kingdom once had a marriage interview with me too, but he was convinced women were meant to sit still and look pretty, so I rejected him right away. The only border we shared with that country anyway, was the mountain range I was able to protect by myself, no matter how many times they would try to claim the small field behind it. "I am guessing the king told you about my suspicions", Commander Elias asked, without expecting an answer, but my agreeing look was enough for him to understand. "The border we share with the Kial Empire is very big, but heavily protected by these mountains", he said and pointed at a long line of mountains. I have been there once, and I knew that these mountains were a death trap, there was only a single path one could take to cross them, but it was very small. The Oras Kingdom, on the other hand, shared a slightly smaller border with us, but there was not a single obstacle on it. Luckily, we had a good relationship with them and there was no need to protect that border, since they had absolutely no reason to go to war with us. "I know it sounds unreasonable, but I have reason to believe that the Kial Empire will attack us from the Oras border", Commander Elias suddenly said. I looked at him perplexed because I did not understand how that could even be a possibility. The Oras Kingdom was a very peaceful country, in which the rulers knew how to negotiate without using much violence, because their military was very scarce. Peace had even woven itself in their culture, which was the reason there were not many people who aspired to be soldiers, but that was never an issue, because the country was quite small. "I sent a messenger to Oras, so they could sign our new trading contracts", the Commander explained, "but he claims to have seen Prince Erin in the palace". I recognized the name immediately, because it was the Crown Prince from the Kial Empire that I have once rejected as a marriage candidate. My eyebrows were furrowed in disbelief, the only reason I felt like I could reject him was their border, which made it impossible for them to attack us in a large quantity even though the Kial Empire had a lot of skilled soldiers. "If you don't believe it, you can talk to the Messenger himself, he returned yesterday evening and his name is Theo Malon", Commander Elias said. A lazy wave of my hand showed him that I did not think that was necessary, I trusted him enough to confirm these things before sharing them with me.

"Also, Sai Empire is most likely going to attack a little later, than we expected", he suddenly added, and my head shot up. The fact that they would attack was no news, but I was supposed to take care of them, so I needed to know when they would make their move. "The cargo with their equipment will arrive two weeks later, and they have collected new soldiers that need to be trained before battle", the Commander explained. "They will be ready next month, and they will probably attack a day after the cargo arrived", was the conclusion the Commander came up with. I agreed, it made sense they would attack a day afterward, that gave them just enough time to equip and position themselves before the attack. "Look, I know you don't want to hear it, but I have to break it to you", Commander Elias suddenly, "you can't fight them". My eyes widened, and I looked at him confused, he agreed to it before, so I did not understand what changed. "The new date of their attack will most likely be your birthday", he explained the decision calmly, "there is no way I could convince your father to let you fight on that day". My head fell down slightly, to avoid him seeing the disappointment, that was undoubtedly reflected in my eyes. I could not show these kinds of emotions, because I knew they would crush me if I would, so I quickly regained my composure and looked at the Commander calmly. "I am really sorry, but nobody could have predicted this", he tried to explain, "don't worry though, their numbers are low and there won't be many casualties in our ranks". My only response was a slow nod, and I could see the frustration that was building up within Commander Elias at this. "I would have thought you would be more upset", he murmured so quietly, that I guessed it was not meant for my ears. His comment was not unexpected though, he always hated the way I suppressed my emotions even off the battlefield, he thought it was unhealthy for a soldier not to mention a princess. He was probably right, but I did not care about that, letting out all my emotions would make me too weak for either of those roles and I needed to play both. Without another unnecessary motion, I turned around, and he luckily did not try to stop me, when I left the dark room. The Cafeteria was still filled with soldiers, but they were all sitting at the tables and eating their meals, so I could go through them without more than a few glances thrown my way. I left the soldiers wing and headed straight to my room, to catch up on all the paperwork I have disregarded for the past two days, ignoring the pain in my chest until it was gone.