Hers

CHAPTER8- CAN'T

Megan giggles as everyone says how good we look together or say they like her better with me. And for a quick moment, I seen what everyone else saw. Us being together....

"I had fun"
"Me too....thanks for even thinking about going there"
"Thanks for saying yes....I was so scared you'll say no"

"I can't lie, I wanted to.....we've been on a crazy roller coaster Meg. And I just want some consistency right now"

"I understand. I can give you that....consistency"
"How?"
"No matter what, I'm going to always choose you"
"Always me?"
"Yes. Always you over everyone....which is why I want to tell you why I started going into my headspace"

I sit in the car with her as her driver Frank drives us; to where I don't know. All I know is that I'm where I'm meant to be.

"I wasn't always a little. I was only the dominant, hard Megan that I am when I'm big. As you know I'm all alone....my mom, grandma and dad are gone. And I've been lonely...alone with my thoughts. And I-I don't like being lonely..once my mom left me I completely lost it. I was always sad, kinda depressed and just in my head. And it's like I've been trying to find happiness again and I found it by being in my headspace. Making it easy to not tap into the horrible feelings I've been having.....then you came and I'm not alone. You make me happy Beyoncé, and I really do love you" she says blushing as she puts her head down

"You'll never be alone....never. Because you have me"
"Promise?"
"I promise"

ONE WEEK LATER

"Stop it Mommy!!! STOP!" Megan shouts as I tickle her

She tried to say that she's not ticklish but clearly she is and I'm proving it. With her face turning red she continues to smile nearly loosing it; begging me to stop. But I just laugh and continue until my hands start to hurt.

"I love you baby doll"
"I love you Mommy"

We say to each other then I lean over her giving her a kiss, my phone goes off signaling that it's time for me to get ready to head to class.

And Megan knows it too, so she pouts giving me the saddest face she can.

"Don't give me that...you know if I could I would stay with you"
"I know.....uh can I go with you!?" She says excitedly

"You wanna come to my class?"
"Yes! Oh please Mommy, I promise to behave and try not to cause distractions. Please!!" She begs me looking at me

I take a deep breath. "You gonna be a good girl?"
She quickly nods her head very fast, so I say yes earning a bright smile from her.

"Now everyone is gonna go crazy when they see you....and ask you so many questions. But you know you don't have to answer any of them. And you can stay by me if you want. I think they'll just be super excited to see you" I ramble on as we're headed to the school

She just smiles at me, "Beyoncé, calm down...it's gonna be great"

I swallow hard as I see everyone walk into the classroom first spotting me then Megan.

" Soooo y'all together now?" Marcus says smirking at Trey

While Trey holds a frustrated face
I go to say no, but Megan quickly answers.
"Yes...this my boo. She's all mines"

"Oh say less" Tracey says chuckling taking her notebook out

"Is she really?...... cause Pardi stay on Twitter talking about y'all. And wait.....better yet, Ms. Knowles why she shared a picture he put up of them in bed with face mask on. Saying my world. So is she really all yours" Trey says holding his phone out

"Oooh you sneaky bitch" Stephanie says looking through her phone

"And, she pregnant" she continues which stops my heart

I slowly look at Megan as she's quiet. She quickly puts her head down and I know the truth....
"Damn you really is pregnant...my girls gonna flip" Tracey says while quickly texting on her phone

"You need to leave....I came here to learn to help my grandkids and you- YOU are hindering it. Now leave!" Amanda says pointing to Megan

Finding the strength to not cry I muster out a quick, "class is canceled" and rush out the door not even paying anyone any attention

Pregnant. She's really pregnant with his child and said that she loves me. How! How can she love me when she's tied to him....for life.

"Wait! Beyoncé. Wait!!! Please let me explain!!!" I hear behind me

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! Shut up!! You're nothing but a liar that picks on my heart. Just stop, stop it Megan. Let me be....just let me be" I beg her feeling my tears starting to fall

She goes to say something but everyone is coming out the school building.

"Ms. Knowles, I'll drop you off home"

"Thanks Trey. I appreciate this"
"You know I got you Ms. Knowles.....can I be real with you?"
"Go ahead"

"Why you keep giving her a chance?....she keeps proving that she doesn't care for you. Open yourself up to someone better........like me" he says smirking at the end making me laugh

"Trey I told you, I don't date my students. That's just asking for trouble and that I don't need drama... I got too much of that going on"

He nods his head saying he understands but that he's still holding out hope. Because we're a match.

I sit looking out the window taking everything in as my phone continues to vibrate. I can't go back....I just can't.