"I was quiet for two weeks because I needed some time but I'm back." I say and give my camera a sad smile.
"I've never wanted to talk about this topic on the internet but I guess I can't have private life without anyone telling all my secrets to the whole internet."
"So I started self harming when I was twelve, I know it's a really young age and I was supposed to be playing with barbies back then but It was hard for me."
"As y'all know everyone has always wanted me to be like my brother, wanted me to be an actress, wanted me to be as "perfect" as him."
"And the thing is when you tell this to a literal twelve years old girl who doesn't even know what is her favorite subject in school, it's normal that she starts to feel like a mistake." a tear falls from my eye.
I wipe it away and continue talking. "I didn't have any friends back then and when I did then they just used me to get closer to my brother so I didn't have anyone to tell my feelings to."
"I was really miserable and didn't know wha to do so that's the first time I cut my self."
"And then it was like a habit every time I did something wrong I cut my self."
"Then the drugs came."
"I wanted to be friends with the popular cool kid from my school and then they finally noticed me and invited me to a party."
"I didn't want to be uncool so I tried some of the stuff they did and from then, every time I went out with them I had something." Another tears fall from my eye and I ignore them.
"I stopped hurting my self at sixteen, got professional help and went to a mental hospital for two months."
"Then a few months later after I got back from the hospital I decided to stop doing drugs, I stopped talking to those people and started taking care of me." I start to sob.
"I'm sorry I didn't want to cry it's just really hard topic to talk about."
"I haven't hurt my self or touched drugs for 1 year straight and I'm grateful for that."
"I'm still seeing my psychiatrist and psychologist and I found great new friends."
"If you're going though any of this, please never forget that you're not alone and try to find a help."
"Here are numbers you can call if you need help."
"You're not alone" I say and cut off the camera.
* * *
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liked by jennaortega and 1 567 432 others phoebewolfhard healing era 💌 new important video is out!! ❤️🩹
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jennaortega extremely proud of you
finnwolfhard you are so strong :(
user3 i'm so sorry:(
jackchampion so proud of u! ❤️
emmaevans you're matilda from hs, so strong!! 💌 —> lunasmith the song is about her it's supposed to be called "phoebe"
