Kagahapon

Syete

Situation brings people. People bring opportunities. And opportunities overcome fears.

Kagahapon,

It was one of the most unforgettable but gusto nako kalimtan na event. My microbiology class finished at seven in the evening. And I was already walking out of campus when Eura greeted me at the exit with her father's car. She said we are going somewhere and I needed to come with her as her "errand boy".

We went to the peryahan. I was expecting her to make me do some work but it was nothing more than I imagined. She wanted to ride the horror train. And when she told me that, nakuratan akong kalag.

Horror train?! That was the least I wanted to ride! I don't want to go inside that house full of ghosts and eerie ambience. Even though it's fake, I don't want it!

I told her I'm not allowed to go on rides that will frighten me for it will not be good for my health. But you know what she told me? She said I am just making excuses because I am afraid.

Well, that is, in fact . . . true. But still! I am also not lying about my condition. Eura didn't know that my life already has a deadline but she does know I am ill, so I don't know why she keeps on insisting! Patyon man siguro ko niyag una.

I tried fighting with her. But the more we argue, the closer we are in line. I didn't notice we were going to ride next.

And that's that. I wasn't able to do anything but ride on that puryagaba na train. I just remained my eyes close and prayed that I hope dili pako mamatay.

I am ready to die though but not this soon. And not in this train!

Hay! Kasamok na bayhana. How am I an errand boy in this state? She just wants to make fun of me.

Thankfully, I am still buhi. I wouldn't have written this if I died yesterday.

Despite that experience, there was a part of me glad that I rode that train.

I have been a scaredy cat since little, and it had crossed my mind several times to overcome my fear. But wanting to change someone's life forgets me of my own change (I was a little bit of a hypocrite right there, no?).

I thought that I don't need to worry about my own struggle, and I just need to focus on giving you what life teaches me, when in fact, I couldn't teach you anything if I am not changing--if I am not overcoming something.

And so, I realized today: as I spend this very fifty days, there is still a big room of growth for me. Despite the limited tomorrows, I can still get better and grow with you. So don't think that you can no longer move forward, okay? I already have a deadline, but you don't. Please, keep going.

- Presentio, the life changer