The VSG Collection - A&D

Nightmares - Bonus Fic! #1

The time for staring at Ant's door was over, and so he carried on walking until he made his way downstairs and through a sliding glass door from the kitchen out onto the open balcony, and there he sat on the bench against the outside wall, draping a blanket over his back and shoulders to keep warm in the cool October air.

Dec looked at the view before him. It was beautiful up here in the mountains, the range in-front was parted with a wondrous river and forest Inbetween, peaks meeting the sky that was scattered with stars. They were so much clearer to the eye without millions of streetlights and misty fumes hanging in the air. It may be the one thing Dec liked about this place, that he could sit in the basking beauty and find some real peace.

This peace only lasted a few minutes as he heard the glass door slide open. Dec immediately turned his head in panic, but that feeling completely dropped when he was seeing Ant by himself around the door, looking back at him, hearing him speak at the same time.

"Dec? Are you alright? What are you doing out here?"

The words 'yes, I'm alright' hung loosely in his throat. This was Ant. It's okay, he thought. He swallowed them down.

"Can't sleep anymore. Nightmares.", Dec looked away sadly for a moment, then, "What about you, what are you doing up?"

Ant had closed the door now, and was making his way over to sit beside Dec. "Just got up for a glass of water and then saw you here through the window."

Ant stretched his arm to rest behind Dec and spoke again, "So what's with these nightmares?"

Dec took a moment before speaking. "I didn't wake you, did I?", He asked timidly.

"No you didn't, don't worry about that."

Ant moved his hand down to Dec's shoulder, and Dec rested his head down on Ant's. Ant did the same. Then, softly, "What's going on Decs. You don't have to talk about them but, you know I won't judge. I'm here."

He's here. He's here. He's alive. You're alive.

Dec closed his eyes for a moment, then began, "These missions we're sent on, we know the dangers but we still have to go through with them, follow their orders, their tasks, no matter the consequences. But what if, one time, those consequences are... too high- for us. They're not going to let us stop, or let us go 'till it's done- they won't stop for anything. And if we can't do something or go somewhere and we refuse then, there's nothing we can do, they'll just force us again. Every day it gets harder and we're pushed further. And what if it goes too far?"

"Dec."

"What then."

"Dec-"

"-What if one of us falls?"

"Dec, stop it."

Quieter he says, "I can't lose you, Ant."

Dec buries himself further into him.

"That won't happen, Dec."

"We don't know that it won't-"

"We don't know that it will. We can't worry about things only for them not to happen at all. It's good to be cautious, yes. But we're humans, it's what we do, stay alert and survive."

"I just- need you, to be safe."

"And I you, but this whole thing isn't safe. That's why we've got to be careful and given the right equipment to go in."

"All those people that died before in there, we know how it happened, they know, yet they're sending in more and more like the ones who came before are nothing and this place and getting what they want is all that matters."

"They've learned from those trials to make the present ones better."

"And if we're just another 'learning trial'?"

"I don't think they'd send us in if they knew they still needed test runs. I know it's scary, I'm afraid too but, there's nothing we can do... We just have to push through this, together. I'm not going anywhere, alright?"

Dec only nodded as Ant held him closer, rubbing his hand across his back and shoulder in comforting patterns.

After a while, Ant spoke, "Even though the situation is terrible and all, I'm still glad you're here with me. I need you, Dec, but we've got to be strong, yeah? I know it won't stop the nightmares, but know that I'll always be here, they'll never be real, I promise you."

"Thank you, me too."

Dec's eyes had been closed for a long time now, resting against his friend. He had already memorised the way Ant's arms felt around him, on him, the patterns his hands made across him when he needed comfort, the light touches, the jokey touches, the ones that gave him messages without words, a very long time ago. He knew all of these very well, especially by now, but he couldn't but feel the need to be so present in these moments rested in his arms like this. If he were ever to lose him, maybe even soon though Ant denies this possibility, he'd never be able to have this again. He wasn't going to take these moments for granted.

"We should try and go back to sleep, we'll need it for tomorrow."

Dec panicked, clinging closer "No, I don't want to go back there Ant, can't we just stay here for a while longer?", He pleaded.

"You can stay with me, Dec. But I can't have you not sleeping when we've got days like these."

"I can sleep just fine right here."

Ant chuckled lightly, "Come on, I'll be with you the whole time. Promise."

Ant kissed his head, then loosened his hold on Dec to stand up, pulling him up with him with his hand. Dec followed him upstairs into Ant's room and climbed into his bed beside him into a similar position to what they were before- Ant's arm around Dec with him lying on his chest. Dec rested his arm around Ant's neck, burying his face into the other side. Ant rested his head on Dec's, again moving his hand in comforting patterns to reassure Dec and allow the tiredness to come over him easier. But he could still feel the tension ceasing in Dec's upper body. He wasn't quite so relaxed yet.

"Let go, Dec. It's going to be alright. I'm here. I'll still be here when you wake up. Everything's going to be okay. We're going to be okay."

"You're sure?", Dec said quietly.

"Aye. I'm certain."

Dec blinked in the darkness, but it had never felt so safe. He sighed lightly. "I love you."

Ant smiled a little, "I love you too. Now, relax, it's okay." He kissed his head again, and began stroking his hair, something he knew soothed Dec and made him sleepy. Dec closed his eyes.

Dec made a small noise of satisfaction, then muffled, "You sleep too."

"I will, don't worry, darling."

Ant's words seemed to have worked well as he felt Dec loosen a little, and relax into him. If it was even possible, Dec snuggled closer to Ant, and Ant too closed his eyes, the two keeping each other warm and safe throughout the night until the very next bright morning.