The Guide to Capturing a Black Lotus

40

He looked into Dowager Consort Zhao's blood streaked eyes and understood that there was no way for them to properly communicate and disappointedly gave up.

The mother and son duo sunk into silence for a long time. The atmosphere was heavy and stiff. He took the initiative to speak up: "Mother Consort, you've always held some anger in your heart. Is it anger at this son for not letting Mother Consort become the Dowager Empress?"

Dowager Consort Zhao's mouth curled into an empty, cold smile.

The Emperor patiently continued: "You gave me the gift of life and you're the Nation's mother. Naturally, your position is worthy and uplifted, there's nothing to criticize."

These words of his were somewhat pointed and sounded extremely harsh, stabbing into Dowager Consort Zhao's sore spot.

She was greatly riled and her chest heaved for a good while before she spoke with trembling lips: "You still aren't willing to let go of things that happened a decade ago! You stubbornly maintain that I was wrong and because of that, I can never hold up my head in front of you... who do you think I did all of that for? Try and take a gander at it!" 

The Son of Heaven's temper had also been aroused: "Zhen was raised in the previous Empress Dowager residence. Zhen never lacked food or drink and was protected very well. What could have Mother Consort worried over? Chasing after fame and fortune at the expense of human lives, don't tell me that it was all for Zhen?!"

　　"She protected and raised you up well?" Dowager Consort Zhao's eyes became laden with tears. Her hand clutched the cloth around her waist as if she was trying to suppress an explosion of fury, "I'm worthless! My own son isn't close with me. Whether or not he ate well, slept well or even went to school... I don't know any of these!" After spewing out this spiel, she was basically clenching her teeth, "Son, do you understand the heart of a mother?"

The Emperor was struck into an awkward silence by her furious outburst.

　　He was used to giving out iron-handed commands and upon encountering a cadence he was completely unused to, he felt like he was wading through mud.

With the grievances and love slowly built up over many years, he felt even more at a loss as to what to do.

Ten years was enough to let even the most intimate people turn into strangers.

After her outburst, the atmosphere turned both stifling and ugly. Dowager Consort Zhao's tears were flowing as quickly as a brook, ruining and smearing her thick makeup.

Before she had been married off, she sat in the Seven Fragrance Carriage with countless people looking up to this Miss Zhao. She had been a beauty, one both beautiful and noble, yet in the end she still turned into a locked up old mother stuck deep within the castle walls.

The past was already in the past. There was no point in chasing after it.

She only spoke up after a long time had passed. She spoke long and wide without any clear indication as to who she was talking to.

Her voice was low, nearly husky, just like an old rickety wheel: "Do you know? When your uncle died, he pulled my hand and handed the Mu Jade Tablet to me. Tears rolled down his face as he handed his children to me to care. I was completely astonished at the time, I remember it clearly. I thought that even after he had lived such a glorious life, married a stunning woman and had both sons and daughters, that he would still care so much for a wild child...." She gave the Emperor a look and smiled with a pale face, "Now I understand. This was a curse. Our Zhao family has long been used to achieving our goals through hook or crook. Taking other children for the sake of gaining empty fame, I suppose it all has come back to bite us in the end."