A glimpse of my diary |✔|

Insecure

Clouds of confusion circle my head,

Guess I really am bad.

Got played,

But never learnt to play.

Got betrayed,

Still scared to do the same some day.

Got lied to,

And here's the catch, I have lied too!

More than you could count..

But never to hurt others, rather to save me;

Of potential hurt the world could cause me.

I never share my feelings,

then wish somebody could understand me.

Guess I really am worse

Cause I ponder way too much..

I listen like I wished to be listened ,

I feel worthy when someone smiles because of me,

Even when it means making a fool of myself;

But when it comes to me,

I build a shell around 

And never allow anyone to enter;

Cause I am apprehensive of the result,

Its not like I never tried

But the experiment went bad.

I love like I wish to be loved ,

And then complain that I get attached,

I help others just to realise I was a tool;

That is thrown after use.

But people forget I have feels,

I really wanna heal

Of my scared and scarred heart,

And open up with those who are my side(for now)

I have loved and learnt that it hurts,

or maybe it is me

Guess I am really the worst

And all this is something I deserve.