Threads of Tapestry

Deal I Wanna Break - Part 3

Isa pa, I'm gonna return it to Jonathan.

It's a huge amount of money, so I decided to open a small cafe business to have an income and gradually pay Jonathan back. That's what he suggested, too.

Bago pa man ako pumasok sa nakakadiring trabaho ko, I used to work in the cafe as a barista, too. And all that I have learned from that experience has helped me manage my own business now.

"Cream Cheese Frappe for Miss Louisse!" I pressed the bell as I called the name on the sticky note.

Tumayo din naman agad yung senior high school student na babae at dumiretso sa akin.

Hindi ko ba alam kung bakit nanginginig ang kamay nito na kinuha ang kanyang Frappe. "A-ah, thank you po." Hindi din ito makatingin sa mga mata ko. She has this awkward smile.

Napangiti nalang din ako at tumango. I wanted to go back to work, but her lips parted and then pursed again, like she wanted to say something but was reluctant.

"It's not like you've not been here since the day that I opened this cafe, Louisse." I joked. To make it less awkward for her.

"Uh...is it okay if I tell you that I...like you?" She tucked a thin strand of long hair behind her ear. She bit her lower lip and, in an instant, her cheeks turned red.

"Oh..." I was speechless. Saglit pa akong napatitig sa kawalan bago ako napabuga ng hangin kasabay ng awkward na pagtawa.

Napatingin ako kay Louisse na nakayuko na bago sa mga kaibigan niya na napansin kong nakatingin sa amin.

"Was that a dare?" I asked her, still smiling. To not give her some kind of impression.

Tumingala din siya sa akin kaagad. She awkwardly laugh and nervously nodded. "Uh, kinda..." But she can't keep her eyes on mine.

She nervously pointed at her friends without even glancing at them. "W-we need to study now." she bit her lower lip. She just forced herself to smile for the last time before running towards her friends' table with her Frappe. Her friends looked surprised and thrilled after watching her confession.

God, she looked embarrassed. I couldn't help but let out a heavy sigh and shake my head, but I made sure she didn't see it.

Alam ko naman na she admires me but I hope it's nothing much more than admiring who I am with my physical appearance and visible life, because for me, she's just a little sister.

I'm aware that some people are just attracted to me. I'm aware of it. But would they love me if they knew who I really am and my flaws? People don't live for a physical appearance and a visible, likeable, lifestyle alone.

Just because I have the face? Just because they find me attractive as a barista? Are they really going to marry someone just because of things that will never last until they grow old?

I know that I am not a bad person, but I really doubt if a girl would still accept me if she finds out I actually went to different motels with different women, mostly middle-aged, for money.

What if she finds out that I no longer have any family and that it's lonely? What if she finds out my father was a criminal? Will she accept me even if I don't have a degree yet? What if she finds out that I am nothing without my face? Am I?

It's something I fear, which is why I am not looking for a girl yet. Maybe I'm a coward. I can't face love yet because I am afraid to hurt myself with the fact that my life isn't that appealing.

"Good afternoon! Welcome to Your Cup's! May I take your order?" Holding my sticky note and a pen, I greeted the woman in businesswoman's attire. I believe she's a new customer, and she's wearing...shades.