Special Past

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As tears prick in your eyes, you know you are blushing with heat, coughing, looking, and feeling, deranged.

"What the hell?" you cry in a weak voice, throat tight as you express the water from your windpipe. Heart seizing as you recognise the person in front of you. It was as if time stopped, memories playing like a film through your head.


***


The wind is silent, cicadas chirping. The night sky sings with stars. The cold air bit your skin viciously, as you were prey to a predator.

"Andy, I love you." It was gentle. His voice fluttered like paper in the wind.

"I'm not gay Jake! What the fuck is wrong with you? You're disgusting."

Guilt consumed you like a wildfire, burning a gaping hole in the veil to which held your pride. It wasn't the morbid idea of being gay you couldn't stand, but it was the weight of shame you felt, curling and crowding in your lungs, almost suffocating you. Your family never openly accepted gay people, the disowning of your cousin by your aunt for being gay was always a dinner table conversation.

Jake sniffled quietly, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. They eventually welled from deep inside, coursing down his cheeks. They spill over and flow down his face like a rough, eruptive, sea at dawn. "I'm disgusting? Is that what you think of me? What about the time we spent together? ... I guess it was just me getting the wrong signals."

Your eyes became bloodshot, a solemn tear falling down your cheek. Your body looked calm compared to how tangled your mind was.

"I never want to see you again. You f*g."


***


"Oh, hi there! Sorry I didn't expect any other swimmers," his voice says, breathing heavily.

Like a bud opening in winter, a sour emotion surged within you. You were enveloped in its bitter fragrance, which eradicated the foul stench of happiness you once had with Jake.

Your eyes blur with tears as you begin recovering your breath, and as you blink them away you see him, Jake, pushing the hair threatening to cover his eyes out of his face. His chiseled jawline shone in the afternoon sun, as if the rays created a special spotlight just for him.

"I've been here for like - cough - ten minutes! Where did you even come from?" You feel defensive and embarrassed, pressing a hand to your chest as your coughing dies down.

"Are you alright?" he asks, making his way toward you.

"I'm fine!" You insist, turning away to return to shore.

"I'm sorry I was out here doing my stamina training; I didn't want to scare you." He claims, head turning towards your lower region.

You ignore him, making your way to the shore and quickly running to your spot beneath the willow. Without drying yourself you kick on your shoes, throw on your underclothes and your shorts, and take one last look at the surprise bather to snap a remark about a perverted desire to watch you under the water. You notice he has turned away from you while you pull your clothes on, then run toward the path to go home."I'm sorry!" You hear him call again as you disappear into the tree line.

NOWHERE BOYS: Special training (Andy Lau x Jake Riles)Where stories live. Discover now