A Coin Has Two Sides (Season One) || Kaz Brekker x OC

19. Battle of the Heart and Mind

Winnie wasn't sure how to feel.

Her father was gone.

She knew she should feel relieved, finally free from his threats. But she could feel a small sense of grief wash over her as the group walked down from the ship.

So many people had died because of his actions. So many had suffered, herself included.

So why was she ... upset?

She walked a way behind the others as she tried to reason with herself and to process everything that had happened just hours ago.

She was part of the Fold. She contained the ability to absorb it and keep the darkness inside of her. It was why her father trained her the way he did when she was a child. So that he could use her to transport the Fold around to other parts of the world, unleashing its hell on anyone. And Winnie would be the one to do so.

But whilst she may not have to worry about that anymore considering her fathers end, the Fold was still very much alive.

Including the parts of it that were festering inside of her.

From in front of her she heard the occasional whisper from Alina or Jesper asking the others if they should check on her, but they were always met with a strict no from Kaz.

He knew that Winnie liked to be left alone when she got in this state. When she was processing things and trying to organise her mind.

But the second Kaz departed to go searching for clothes that Alina and Winnie could change into, Alina walked over to the shadow summoner.

"What's on your mind?" Alina asked.

"What isn't on my mind", Winnie said trying to muster a small smile.

"We did everything we could in there."

"I know. But it still wasn't enough", Winnie said as she turned her head to look at the Fold.

"We will take it down", Alina said confidently.

Winnie nodded slowly.

She felt something begin to turn inside of her at the mention of destroying the Fold.

She was a part of it. Even more so than before.

What does that mean?

If the Fold is destroyed, will she be too?

Great, just another heap of problems to figure out.

"Oh, and I told you so, by the way", Alina said.

Winnie furrowed her eyebrows and looked at Alina.

"What are you talking about?"

"That you weren't alone. That there were people who cared for you", Alina said as she looked ahead to Jesper and Inej who were walking with Mal in front of them.

"They all almost died. By the time I'm done yelling at them for being so stupid they'll wish they had never come in the first place", Winnie said.

Alina laughed softly. "Okay, okay. But after that. You'll thank them, right?"

"I might do", Winnie said with a genuine smile this time.

"Does basic human emotion not exist in Ketterdam?" Alina asked.

"Not one bit", Winnie said immediately.

"Saints, you're almost as cold as your father", Alina said, immediately regretting her words. "I'm so sorry, Winnie I –"

"No, it's okay. He's gone now. I need to push aside all the emotions I placed around him and focus on moving on. We have more important things to worry about."