Uncle Wheatley is NOT a moron

Love, Uncle Wheatley

I yawned and stretched my arms over my head.

"Try to pay attention Mr. Wheatley."

"I am. I am." I checked my watch. It was 10:15. "So am I allowed to be present at the event?" I asked.

The nurse smiled as she flipped through her papers. "Of course. Your tests are almost finished, so I'm sure we could let you off the hook. Just remember that if you disconnect from your management rail you will be running on reserve battery power and you'll only be able to walk around for about twenty minutes. After that, your body will shut down so that an assistant can carry you back to your chair. And make sure you call for assistance if you want to unplug from your chair. Those wires can be tricky and we don't want you to malfunction."

"Okay. Yes. Thank you so very much." It was almost 10:30; I was getting anxious.

"You remember the controls?"

"Yes of course I do," I said impatiently.

"This is all just protocol, Wheatley. Please don't get upset."

I sighed and turned my chair around.

"And one more thing," she continued.

I turned back to her. "Yes?"

"GLaDOS is going to be activated at 11:30 so we may need to call you in for that."

"Why?"

She shrugged. "Protocol Mr. Wheatley. Just a heads up."

"Alright. Can I go now? It's about to start and there's someone I really need to see."

She smiled. "We've holed you up here long enough. Go see whoever it is you need to see."

I turned excitedly and zoomed down the hallway.

Since I had requested to become a helper for the test subjects, I had be plugged into a chair that was suspended from a management rail so that I could follow the subjects around and..... well, help them.

I punched in a code and the doors opened. The sight in front of me made my heart swell. Men and women wandered around the room, holding their little girl's hands. Scientist that did not have daughters directed the crowd and kept people, especially children, from wandering.

In the back there were several tables filled with little science projects: a mini volcano, the forty potato batteries......... Something was missing.

"Wheatley?!"

I looked down below my chair and met the lovely green eyes of Valerie Cassidy. "Hello love. What're you up to?"

She gave a wide grin. "Come down here!" she exclaimed, "Let me see you."

I clicked a button and whirred down until I was eye level with her.

"Oh. My. Gosh." she said.

"Do you like it? I think it's quite- Gah!"

She threw her arms around my neck, jumped into my lap, and planted kisses all over my mechanical face.

"Goodness, love! Calm down or you'll make me short circuit."

She pulled away with her hands over her mouth. "You look amazing, Wheatley."

"Thank you. Say, have you seen Chell around? I was looking for her a moment ago, but I couldn't find her."

Valerie slowly shook her head, unable to keep her eyes off of my new metal structure.

"Stop staring!" My face started to glow red. "I'm going to overheat." I jammed a few buttons and my face cooled off.