Net

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I looked at Fort straight in the eyes as I said all of it. It was real. I wasn't looking at him as a friend anymore.

I thought I did but seeing the way his uncle harassed him again, I knew instantly there was no way I was going to let him go through it alone. Seeing him talk to a girl was enough to set me off. Having had him physically left me wanting more. I wanted all of him, not only physically but emotionally too.

If it meant he was a boyfriend, I wanted it. I wanted whatever Boss had with Noeul. I wanted it with Fort.

Fort looked at me confused. I knew there were a million thoughts running through his head. I brought him back to the apartment and there was just silence as I heated up some soup and we had an early dinner. I started to wash the dishes  as Fort took a shower. He came out and swapped with me as I took mine.

When I went out, Fort was done with the dishes and was just at the balcony.

"Fort, you ok?"

I called out to him softly. He nodded but didn't turn to me. I walked over to him and took his hand. But for the first time, he took his hand out of my hold. I looked at him stricken, knowing where this was going.

He turned to me.

"I have overstayed my time here. I am going to go home ok?"

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want him to go but yet when he had taken his hand out of mine, I knew instantly. He wasn't just going home. He was putting a stop to whatever was brewing between us.

"Is this it?"

He nodded.

"You dont feel the same way as I do?"

Fort kept quiet, not saying anything.

"Will I see you again?"

"Yea, sure. With Boss and Noeul. Why not?"

"As friends?"

"As friends."

I kept quiet. I just nodded. I didn't say anything else. I couldn't. I smiled as Fort went off to change. I kept the smile on as he took his things, thanked me for letting him and watched him leave.

Once he left, the smile dropped with the tears. Fuck. I chain smoked in frustration and finished off the remaining half of the whiskey bottle but nothing diminished the growing pain in my heart.

Fuck fuck Fuck. Why did I grow feelings?!? Fuck.

I didn't sleep the whole night, just watching my phone. Hoping he will call or text. But nothing.

I went into work the next day, my mind on Fort the whole time but I pretended like I was absolutely fucking fine. Boss called me and was displaced by my voice. He asked me on what happened and I confessed everything. Boss was absolutely silent, stunned. Not by my confession but by the fact that I was crying. I was crying on the damn call to my friend over a guy I never expected to have feelings for.

Boss asked me out for drinks to take my mind off things and I reluctantly agreed. I met up with him and it was the same bar that I had met Fort in. I automatically kept an eye out for him. But I didn't see him at all. Boss tried to cheer me up but even he knew it was a losing battle.

We left the bar around 11pm and Boss offered to send me home. I declined, saying it was ok. I decided to drive by the hospital to check in on Fort's dad and hoping to see Fort too. Fort was there with his father and he was stunned to see me. I just waiied to Fort's dad and checked in on him. We chatted for a bit and finally the nurses asked us to leave. Fort's dad asked me to send Fort home and I agreed. Fort couldn't say anything and so we left.

However, once we left the room, Fort turned to me.

"I can make my way home. Please don't troublr yourself."

"We are friends right? Friends can do this much for each other." My voice caught in my throat as I said it.

Fort looked at me stricken but just nodded his head. The ride back was quiet as usual. Before he got out, Fort looked at me.

"You deserve better than me Net. Just know that."

Before I could respond, Fort got out and left. I watched as he went, my heart breaking even more.

Why couldn't he see what I saw in him?

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