Bathroom Conversations (First 5 Chapters)

5 || Theatre

A battleground can also be referred to as a theatre of war. That's what the cafeteria is for me; a theatre of war. So many culinary sights and smells that send me reeling. My skin tingles with equal parts of longing and distaste. The hospital only helped me in the sense that it gave me a new side to argue with myself. To eat, or not to eat. But I don't really have a choice.

It is so noisy too; an attack on the senses. I join the line and begrudgingly pick up a tray. Just a sandwich. One sandwich. Some sustaining carbs. That's it. One sandwich. A BLT... maybe.

The sandwiches look soggy, and my stomach churns. A salad then, with croutons. Those are bread. I pick up the plastic container and advance in the line as a group of boys step up behind me.

"Ooh, freshman." One of them says with a lilt of laughter. I know they're talking about me, with or without the gym-ready outfit. "God, I love a girl who can pull off track pants."

"Yeah, that's your favourite, right Milo? The pulling off part." His friend says, and out of the corner of my eye, I see him grab a yogurt cup from the refrigerated section. His voice sounds familiar, but I can't quite place it. I wait for the couple in front of me, spooning macaroni from the trough-like containers agonizingly slow.

I peek through my hair at the boys. They stand behind me, chatting about nothing. The taller one leans against the tray-sliding-rods and runs a hand over his gelled-in-a-tousled-way hair. His brown eyes meet mine, and his lips twist up in a smirk. I turn back quickly. The guy from 304's brother. Of course, the one who helped him move in.

"Hey, Cam?" The other boy, Milo, asks. Cam. Short for Cameron, I wonder? I peek again.

"What?" He's opening his mango juice, stabbing the box lazily with the straw. He hasn't hit the foil circle yet.

"Kat just walked in." Cam, looks up with an expectant smile. The apparent apathy melts away in an instant. His eyes brighten, his posture straightens. He becomes sharper somehow.

I follow his gaze to the double doors that lead onto the quad, to the boy from 304 and a girl walking between the tables. The girl is slim but not skinny, her hips generous, her thighs without a gap, her breasts nice. I regularly analyze other girl's bodies and haplessly compare them to my own. Beside her, I'm too skinny.

She laughs with the boy with whom I share a bathroom, throwing her head back. He tugs on the sleeve of her pull-over, an innocent gesture that doesn't seem to bother his brother, and they make their way towards the line. They cut, as I expected.

"Hey, baby," Cam says with a smirk, and she melts into his side, ducking beneath his arm.

"Hi," she says, peering up at him. Her hair is dark and falls to her shoulders. He brushes some away from her face and presses a kiss to her temple. The way they are with each other, so easy, so familiar, it tugs at my heart. I've always wanted that, a relationship like that. A friendship like that. They're friends, too, it's obvious.

"How was your day?" He asks her. She tells him about her first class while his brother talks to the other boy and drums his fingers on the juice can in his hands restlessly.

"Meet any girls yet?" Milo asks, the one who like my pants.

"Sierra's pretty hot."

"Isn't she a lesbian?"

"Uh, no."

Milo pouts. "She told me she was a lesbian."

The other boy snorts and presses his lips together. Milo sighs.

"But check out the track pants." Oh my gosh. I blush and hurry forward as the couple finally finish distributing their pasta salads.