Boy From Nowhere

𓍯eighteen

"It's been a few days now," Evan starts, "You haven't come to school and I hear someone has been bringing your homework to your house for you. I don't know how true that is but... I also have been taking care of the library as best as I can. You'll either be proud of me or annoyed by how things are there."

Nigel had nothing to say to Evan. His silence was all he could offer forward because he was still angry. That feeling that he was being lied to just to feel slightly normal...? He couldn't shake it off.

It just felt unusually fake. Except he was already aware that he's fake with others and displays something for all to see. The person who was seeing him as he now was, was Evan. Except he believed that he wasn't aware of such a thing and that he truly saw it as normal.

Now, he felt no normalcy.

If anything, he felt even stranger in Evan's presence.

"You can stay silent, but I know you have something to say-."

"I don't." Nigel spoke up loudly without really controlling the tone of his voice. "I really have nothing to say to you."

"Why not? All over a simple misunderstanding? You're going to hold that against me?"

"There's no misunderstandings from what you said."

"There's nothing wrong with not being normal. Normal is fucking boring, you know?" Evan tries to give that excuse, but that only annoyed Nigel further.

"Michael is here...so I can easily assume that he told you what I am, right?" Nigel questioned him.

Evan didn't say anything at first. Because he wasn't sure if this was some kind of test. Or if there was a right or wrong answer.

"And if he did? What would you do?"

"Nothing." Nigel answers quickly, turning away so that he didn't have to read his lips. "He's always done this. Anyone who happens to appear twice in front of our family is given a warning. Not because he's trying to be cruel to me, but because he actually is normal. I told him he can do that...but since he's never here, he rarely gets the chance to."

Evan watched Nigel walk deeper into his room. He sat at some desk as he clearly was doing some schoolwork. Evan wasn't sure if he could enter his room even though he's been in there before.

It was more...awkward on his end. Besides the fact that Nigel didn't seem to care at all.

"Just leave." Nigel tells Evan, causing him to frown. "I'm debating on moving schools, so-."

Evan rushed into his room, turning Nigel in his chair quickly. He looked up at him almost pleadingly, going on his knees before him.

"You're really going to leave...because of me being honest with you? What I said was the fucking truth and you're going to just run away? And all for what-?"

"I'm wasting my time there. I've already handled three-."

"No you haven't. Terrance and Owen aren't three."

Nigel just looked away from him now, but was instantly turned back in his chair to face him.

"Don't pretend like you have already done something against me, because you haven't done shit. You and I...aren't even anything. You can't even make a relationship with me because the same excuse. Because I have never said myself that I'm what? Bisexual? I don't know, but I shouldn't have to. Stop finding stupid excuses as to why you haven't made any moves."

"That's a lot of talk for someone who hasn't either."

"Nigel, will you be my boyfriend then?"

When Evan asked that, he saw Nigel's eyes narrow on him.

"Are you mocking me?"

"What the fuck? No? I'm genuinely asking because I like you!" Evan stood up now, shaking his head at him. "You may be a fucking psychopath and might not be capable of truly liking someone, but I like you-."

"You sound so stupid right now." Nigel interrupts him harshly. "I only became this way because of the fucking car crash. I do this shit because of a crash, it's all about that damn crash! It ruined me, it made me a fucking psychopath. It didn't just take away my hearing and damage my back, it took away the most normal parts of me. I remember what it was like to not think this way, and every time I think about such a thing... It only makes me angrier. Because I can never go back to that."

"And who dictated that for you? Who says you can't go back?"

"Me, I know I can't."

Evan shook his head at such a thing, but he chose not to say anything on it yet. He felt like it wouldn't be in his best interest to say anything on it.

Because of his silence, Nigel ended up thinking about it much more. He stayed looking at Evan who had the most serious expression towards him.

"It's a feeling. My thought processes are different, everything feels different. It inhibits me greatly, and holds me back. I can only recall what I once was, but I can't get back to that because it all feels like acting. It doesn't feel real. None of it does." Nigel looked back at Evan, seeing him still look the same. "I do like you, I think. I just can't say if it's genuine or...contrived."

"Well...would you rather enact revenge against me at this very moment, or be with me?"

When Evan asked that, he saw Nigel sit there for quite some time. The silence began to make him nervous because he wasn't sure if was just asking for this now. Because if he said he wanted to enact revenge on him, what then?

Would he still stay?

It almost frightened him because...he felt like he might've.

"I...have no interest in taking revenge against you at this point." Nigel tells him calmly, causing Evan to smile. "You know too much about me now. It would only bring more harm than good if I decided to go along the path of doing something against you."

"What the fuck does that even mean-?"

"No." Nigel interrupted him quickly. "I would rather...be with you than take revenge against you."

"Are you lying to me?"

Evan instantly saw that he took Nigel aback with his question. Except he just wanted to make sure that he wasn't just trying to plot something else.

Because it was obvious now that everything Nigel did, there was always some ulterior motive behind it. He wanted to make sure that wasn't the case here.

"I'm actually..." Nigel drifted.

He saw Evan wait patiently for his answer and he found himself snickering. Taking Evan aback as he turned back to his desk, turning on his lamp now in his once dark room.

Looking back at Evan, he gripped his face abruptly.

"...not lying."

✎_________________˖*

i have lost touch with most of my writings.

i'm lowkey debating on stopping writing altogether.

sorry.

vote, comment, follow~

- yolo